England -- Fiction; Patent medicines -- Marketing -- Fiction; Pharmaceutical industry -- Fiction; Satire; Science fiction
so they sang. I hear the drone and wheeze of that hymn now. I hated
them with the bitter uncharitable condemnation of boyhood, and a twinge
of that hate comes back to me. As I write the words, the sounds and
then the scene return, these obscure, undignified people, a fat woman
with asthma, an old Welsh milk-seller with a tumour on his bald head,
who was the intellectual leader of the sect, a huge-voiced haberdasher
with a big black beard, a white-faced, extraordinarily pregnant woman,
his wife, a spectacled rate collector with a bent back.... I hear the
talk about souls, the strange battered old phrases that were coined
ages ago in the seaports of the sun-dry Levant, of balm of Gilead and
manna in the desert, of gourds that give shade and water in a thirsty
land; I recall again the way in which at the conclusion of the service
the talk remained pious in form but became medical in substance, and
how the women got together for obstetric whisperings. I, as a boy, did
not matter, and might overhear.
If Bladesover is my key for the explanation of England, I think my
invincible persuasion that I understand Russia was engendered by the
circle of Uncle Frapp.
I slept in a dingy sheeted bed with the two elder survivors of Frapp
fecundity, and spent my week days in helping in the laborious disorder
of the shop and bakehouse, in incidental deliveries of bread and so
forth, and in parrying the probings of my uncle into my relations with
the Blood, and his confidential explanations that ten shillings a
week—which was what my mother paid him—was not enough to cover my
accommodation. He was very anxious to keep that, but also he wanted
more. There were neither books nor any seat nor corner in that house
where reading was possible, no newspaper ever brought the clash of
worldly things into its heavenward seclusion; horror of it all grew in
me daily, and whenever I could I escaped into the streets and tramped
about Chatham. The news shops appealed to me particularly. One saw
there smudgy illustrated sheets, the _Police News_ in particular, in
which vilely drawn pictures brought home to the dullest intelligence an
interminable succession of squalid crimes, women murdered and put into
boxes, buried under floors, old men bludgeoned at midnight by robbers,
people thrust suddenly out of trains, happy lovers shot, vitrioled and
so forth by rivals. I got my first glimpse of the life of pleasure in
foully drawn pictures of “police raids” on this and that. Interspersed
with these sheets were others in which Sloper, the urban John Bull, had
his fling with gin bottle and obese umbrella, or the kindly empty faces
of the Royal Family appeared and reappeared, visiting this, opening
that, getting married, getting offspring, lying in state, doing
everything but anything, a wonderful, good-meaning, impenetrable race
apart.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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