Humorous stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Private secretaries -- Fiction
That got him goin'. Rowley drops the potatoes, and in another minute
we're neck-deep in the science of makin' an ore puddin', doin' stunts
with the steam, skimmin' dividends off the pot, and coinin' the slag
into dollars.
I ain't lettin' him slip over any gen'ral propositions on me, either.
I'm right there with the Missouri stuff. He has to go clear back to
first principles every time he makes a statement, and work up to it
gradual. Course, I was keepin' him jollied along too, and while it must
have been sort of hopeless at the start, inoculatin' a cauliflower like
mine with higher chemistry, I fin'lly showed one or two gleams that
encouraged him to keep on. Anyway, we hammered away at the subject, only
stoppin' to make coffee and sandwiches, until near two o'clock in the
mornin'.
"Help!" says I, glancin' at the nickel alarm clock. "My head feels like
a stuffed sausage. A little more, and I won't know whether I'm a nitrous
sulphide or a ferrous oxide of bromo seltzer. Let's take the rest in
another dose."
Rowley chuckles and agrees to call it a day, I didn't let on anything at
the office next morning; but by eight A.M. I was planted at the
roll-top with my elbows squared, tryin' to write out as much of that
chemistry dope as I could remember. And it's surprising ain't it, what a
lot of information you can sop up when you do the sponge act in earnest?
I found there was a lot of points, though, that I was foggy on; so I
makes an early getaway and puts in another long session with Rowley.
And, take it from me, by Tuesday I was well loaded. Also I had my plan
of campaign all mapped out; for you mustn't get the idea I was packin'
my bean full of all this science dope just to see if it would stand the
strain. Not so, Clarice! I'd woke up to the fact that I was bein'
carried along by the Corrugated as a sort of misfit inner tube stowed in
the bottom of the tool-box, and that it was up to me to make good.
So the first openin' I has I tackles Mr. Robert on the side.
"About that Rowley proposition?" says I.
"Oh, yes," says he. "I fear Mr. Briscoe thinks unfavorably of it."
"Then he's fruity in the pan," says I.
"We have been in the habit of accepting his judgment in such matters,"
says Mr. Robert.
"Maybe," says I; "but here's once when he's handin' you a stall. And
you're missin' out on something good too."
Mr. Robert smiles skeptical. "Really?" says he. "Perhaps you would like
to present a minority report?"
"Nothin' less," says I. "Oh, it may listen like a joke, but that's just
what I got in mind."
"H-m-m-m!" says Mr. Robert. "You realize that Briscoe is one of the
leading mining authorities in the country, I suppose, and that we pay
him a large salary as consulting engineer?"
I nods. "I know," says I. "And the nearest I ever got to seein' a mine
was watchin' 'em excavate for the subway. I'm admittin' all that."
"I may add too," goes on Mr. Robert, "that he has a way of stating his
opinions quite convincingly."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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