SCHIGOLCH--[_Coming down the stairs._] God be thanked we’re home again at last! What damned skunk has waxed the stairs again? If I have to have my joints set in plaster again before being called home, she can just stick me up between the palms here and present me to her relations as the Venus de’ Medici. Nothing but steep rocks and stumbling blocks! RODRIGO--[_Comes down the stairs, carrying_ HUGENBERG _in his arms_.] This thing has a royal police-captain for a father and not as much spunk in his body as the raggedest hobo! HUGENBERG--If there was nothing more to it than life and death, then you’d soon learn to know me! RODRIGO--Even with his lover’s woe, little brother don’t weigh more than sixty kilos. On the truth o’ that I’ll let ’em hang me any time. SCHIGOLCH--Throw him up to the ceiling and catch him by the feet. That’ll snap his young blood into the proper fizz right from the start. HUGENBERG--[_Kicking his legs._] Hooray, hooray, I shall be expelled from school! RODRIGO--[_Setting him down at the foot of the stairs._] You’ve never been to any sensible school yet. SCHIGOLCH--Here many a man has won his spurs before you. Only, no timidity! First, I’ll set before you a drop of what can’t be had anywhere for money. [_Opens a cupboard under the stairs._] HUGENBERG--Now if she doesn’t come dancing in on the instant, I’ll wallop you two so you’ll still rub your tails in the hereafter. RODRIGO--[_Seated left of the table._] The strongest man in the world little brother will wallop! Let mama put long trousers on you first. [HUGENBERG _sits opposite him_.] HUGENBERG--I’d rather you lent me your mustache. RODRIGO--Maybe you want her to throw you out of the door straight off? HUGENBERG--If I only knew now what the devil I was going to say to her! RODRIGO--That she knows best herself. SCHIGOLCH--[_Putting two bottles and three glasses on the table._] I started in on one of them yesterday. [_Fills the glasses._] RODRIGO--[_Guarding_ HUGENBERG’S.] Don’t give him too much, or we’ll both have to pay for it. SCHIGOLCH--[_Supporting himself with both hands on the table-top._] Will the gentlemen smoke? HUGENBERG--[_Opening his cigar-case._] Havana-imported! RODRIGO--[_Helping himself._] From papa police-captain? SCHIGOLCH--[_Sitting._] Everything in the house is mine. You only need to ask. HUGENBERG--I made a poem to her yesterday. RODRIGO--What did you make to her? SCHIGOLCH--What did he make to her? HUGENBERG--A poem. RODRIGO--[_To_ SCHIGOLCH.] A poem. SCHIGOLCH--He’s promised me a dollar if I can spy out where he can meet her alone. HUGENBERG--Just who does live here? RODRIGO--Here =we= live! SCHIGOLCH--Jour fix--every stock-market day! Our health. [_They clink._] HUGENBERG--Should I read it to her first, maybe? SCHIGOLCH--[_To_ RODRIGO.] What’s he mean? RODRIGO--His poem. He’d like to stretch her out and torture her a little first. SCHIGOLCH--[_Staring at_ HUGENBERG.] His eyes! His eyes!