Traits of American Humour, Vol. 2 of 3 — John Shaqi
Traits of American Humour, Vol. 2 of 3
General
Traits of American Humour, Vol. 2 of 3
American wit and humor
It was November; soon after election time, when a considerable portion
of the political world are apt to be despondent, and external things
appear to do their utmost to keep them so. November, the season of
dejection, when pride itself loses its imperious port; when ambition
gives place to melancholy; when beauty hardly takes the trouble to look
in the glass; and when existence doffs its rainbow hues, and wears an
aspect of such dull, common-place reality, that hope leaves the world
for a temporary excursion, and those who cannot do without her inspiring
presence, borrow the aid of pistols, cords, and chemicals, and send
themselves on a longer journey, expecting to find her by the way:—a
season, when the hair will not stay in curl; when the walls weep dewy
drops, to the great detriment of paper-hangings, and of every species of
colouring with which they are adorned; when the banisters distil
liquids, anything but beneficial to white gloves; when nature fills the
ponds, and when window-washing is the only species of amusement at all
popular among housekeepers.
It was on the worst of nights in that worst of seasons. The atmosphere
was in a condition of which it is difficult to speak with respect; much
as we may be disposed to applaud the doings of nature. It was damp,
foggy, and drizzling; to sum up its imperfections in a sonorous and
descriptive epithet, it was “’orrid muggy weather.”
The air hung about the wayfarer in warm, unhealthy folds, and extracted
the starch from his shirt-collar and from the bosom of his dickey, with
as much rapidity as it robbed his spirits of their elasticity, and
melted the sugar of self-complacency from his mind.
The street lamps emitted a ghastly white glare, and were so hemmed in
with vapoury wreaths, that their best efforts could not project a ray of
light three feet from the burner. Gloom was universal, and any change,
even to the heat of Africa, or to the frosts of the arctic circle,
would, in comparison, have been delightful. The pigs’ tails no longer
waved in graceful sinuosities; while the tail of each night-roving,
hectoring bull-dog ceased flaunting toward the clouds, a banner of wrath
and defiance to punier creatures, and hung down drooping and dejected,
an emblem of a heart little disposed to quarrel and offence.
The ornamentals of the brute creation being thus below par, it was not
surprising that men, with cares on their shoulders and raggedness in
their trousers, should likewise be more melancholy than on occasions of
a brighter character.
Every one at all subject to the “skyey influences,” who has had trouble
enough to tear his clothes, and to teach him that the staple of this
mundane existence is not exclusively made up of fun, has felt that
philosophy is but a barometrical affair, and that he who is proof
against sorrow when the air is clear and bracing, may be a very
miserable wretch, with no greater cause, when the wind sits in another
quarter.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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