* * * * * Some people take a great deal of liberty with the English language, when they speak of work. * * * * * Stick to the boys who borrow a five occasionally and pay it back; rather than the fellows who love you like a fly does molasses when your roll would choke a lazy mule. * * * * * It’s cheaper to buy your coal from your regular dealer and take short weight, than to steal it from the railroad and pay court costs. * * * * * It’s an ice cold fact that the fellow who is continually condemning others’ faults and pointing with pride to his own great meritable achievements, is not entitled to a premium for sincerity. * * * * * It’s often the sour, surly looking man that goes down in his pocket and gives you his last quarter, when hunger is beating a fast tattoo against your breastworks. * * * * * Because a man joins the church and becomes a pious and strict respecter of Sunday observance, don’t cast all caution aside and let him sell you gold mine stock on Monday, unless you know something about the mine. * * * * * Some men tell you the wonderful things they have done from the corner store dry goods box and then let their wives earn the living over the wash tub. * * * * * Many a man has nearly grasped St. Peter’s hand, when his wife’s razor edged tongue drove him clean down to perdition. * * * * * The fellow who is always harping hypocrite and hurling cheap invectives against the church isn’t the man to arouse confidence, the only one he helps is the devil. * * * * * Take away profanity from some men’s conversation and you haven’t enough left to know what they said. * * * * * When a man buys an Auto or a Ford on credit and lets the whiskers grow on his coal bill they say he’s got the fever. I don’t think it could be the brain kind. * * * * * If money and whiskey would lose their influence in the courts, juries and legislatures would go to sleep and jail doors rust on their hinges. * * * * * When the Lord turns his X rays upon the people, the churches will fill so rapidly that Easter bonnets and dress suits can be picked up anywhere. * * * * * I know a wealthy man by the name of Moore who never was satisfied. * * * * * Obituaries are not a safe guide to the real truth. * * * * * Recollections become dim on the witness stand.