Many a woman can hardly keep from yelling “Hallelujah” when her husband dies. * * * * * If some mothers don’t spend more time with their children and less with politics this country will be over-run with pick-pockets. * * * * * If all mis-mated marriages were suddenly annulled, it wouldn’t take an expert mathematician to count those left in wedlock. * * * * * If it wasn’t for their money, thousands of women would leave their husbands. * * * * * Whiskey has killed more men than all the surgeons. * * * * * Lay the rod on the child before he gets too strong. * * * * * Better be a lady waiting than marry a sot. * * * * * Honesty stops millions from becoming millionaires. * * * * * Women born in Alaska seldom get married; too long in cold storage. * * * * * The undertaker’s sympathy never interferes with his profits; he gets the last crack at you and you can’t kick. * * * * * Many a woman, who never had an extra pair of hosiery at home, loses sight of economy, after her marriage, and plunges into extravagance so heedlessly that her husband gives up in discouragement. * * * * * Live within your means, but don’t borrow money to do it. * * * * * Spend your money when you are young, if you want to spend your old age in the poor house. * * * * * Put a strong proviso in your deed before you turn it over to your children, if you expect to buy your own tobacco. * * * * * The boy who criticizes his father’s depleted finances on account of hardships and honest failures, should be bodily removed into the open air with the same amount of clothes he had when he was born and let the thermometer show forty degrees below zero. * * * * * A court or jury that will convict a man for stealing a ten cent soup bone and acquit the man who made thousands by going into bankruptcy ought to have a steady stream of hot tar running down their aesophagus. * * * * * Many a rock-ribbed democrat votes for a Republican, if there is something in it. * * * * * The tramp, with his back against the water tank, studies as hard on his side of the problem of existence as does the fellow with greater resources, who is up against it. * * * * *