Treat 'em Rough: Letters from Jack the Kaiser KillerLardner, Ring
General
Treat 'em Rough: Letters from Jack the Kaiser Killer
Lardner, Ring
American wit and humor; World War, 1914-1918 -- Humor
I guess I all ready told you the kind of birds we got in our Co. Well
the worst one in the bunch is a guy named Sebastian and of course he
would have to be the one that got the bunk next to mine. Well Al you
remember me writeing to you about the little runt that throwed that
guy's trombone away, well his name is Lahey but we call him Shorty on
acct. of him being so short. Well I hadn't payed much attention to this
here Sebastian because he has always got a grouch and don't say nothing
only to mumble at the officers when they ask him some question but
Shorty knows him and last night he told me all about him and he has been
pinched 50 times for stabbing people but he has got some pull or
something and they can't never do nothing to him except once he served a
turn at Joliet for cutting off a guy's ears because he wouldn't get up
and give him a seat on a st. car. He has always got a knife hid on him
somewheres and his first name is Nick so they call him Nick the Blade on
acct. of always haveing a knife on him.
I don't know if I told you or not but we got a shed outside of the
barracks with shower baths and etc. and everybody is supposed to take
baths and keep themself clean and of course its a pleasure for a man
like I because I got use to takeing them every day after the game and I
don't feel right unless I am clean but some of the birds hollered like a
Indian the first time the officers made them get under the shower and
you would think they never seen water before and I guess some of them
hadn't because when they come out afterwards the officers had to ask
them their name.
[Illustration: I'm glad Florrie is fixed so's she can make a living, for
herself and little Al (p. 27).]
Well Al I was takeing a bath yesterday and this big Nick bird was
standing there striped and he couldn't get up the nerve to step under
the shower and Corporal Daly come up behind him and give him a shove
under the water and he give a bellow that you could hear from here to
Rockford and I didn't know who he was then and I couldn't help from
laughing and he seen me but he didn't say nothing and I wouldn't of
thought no more about it only for what Shorty told me afterwards. Well
Shorty was there to and he laughed at him to but Nick didn't see him but
he seen me and Shorty says I better keep my eyes pealed because Nick
wouldn't think no more of stabbing a man then picking his teeth and if
theys one thing he won't stand for its somebody laughing at him.
Well I been keeping my eyes pealed all right and I kept them pealed all
night last night but I can't stay awake all night every night and the
first time I doze off it will probably be the last time.
Sebastian hasn't spoke to nobody or looked at nobody today and when a
man acts like that it means they are makeing plans. Well Al I only wish
he was planning to dessert from the army and if I seen him trying to
make his get away I wouldn't blow no buggle to wake up the guards. I'll
say I wouldn't Al.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account