Treat 'em Rough: Letters from Jack the Kaiser KillerLardner, Ring
General
Treat 'em Rough: Letters from Jack the Kaiser Killer
Lardner, Ring
American wit and humor; World War, 1914-1918 -- Humor
Well Al this was inspections day and everybody was supposed to have a
clean shave and their hair brushed and all their buttons sowed on and
their beds made up neat and their shoes and mess kits shinned bright and
etc. and Capt. Nash and the lieuts. give us all the double O and some of
the boys got a nice little baling out for the way they looked but I
looked like a soldier ought to look Al and didn't give them no chance to
ball me out.
But what difference is it going to make Al for me to look good and have
things neat when I am sleeping between a man that if he can ever stay
awake till I doze off he will dig a trench system in my chest with a
stilleto and on the other side of me they's a bird that the minute the
lord says Fire he will make me look like a soup strainer. It don't
hardly seem like its worth while to be strick about looks when sooner or
later they are bound to muss me and my bed both up.
Your pal, JACK.
[Illustration]
CAMP GRANT, Oct. 3.
_FRIEND AL:_ Well old pal I just got some good news and this it is Al.
Next Saturday they are going to let some of the boys go home on leave
and I asked Corporal Daly to fix it up for me to go and he says he
didn't know if he could or not because most of the ones that's going is
men that has been here a mo. or more but on acct. of me haveing been
with the White Sox they fixed it so as I could go and the world serious
opens up in Chi Saturday and I won't get away from here till Saturday
noon so I can't get there for the first game but I will see the Sunday
game and won't Gleason and them pop their eyes out when I go down to the
bench with my cocky suit on and shake hands with them and I bet Rowland
will wish I was wearing the White Sox uniform instead of Uncle Sam's
uniform.
Well Al I can't hardly wait to get home and see Florrie and little Al
and of course I will see them Saturday night and I will take them to the
game Sunday and leave for back here after the game because a man has got
to be back in camp at 11 Sunday night and the funny part is that Florrie
was going to bring little Al and come and see me next Sunday but now I
am going to see her and I have wrote her to not come.
Well I am feeling to good to go to bed but that is where I ought to be
Al because I wasn't never so tired in my life because they hung a new
one on us this P.M. Instead of giveing us upseting exercises
from a quarter to 4 till a quarter after they made us all run 20 minutes
without stopping and they says it was to improve our wind. Well before
we was half through I didn't have no wind to improve and I suppose some
day they will pull all our teeth so as we can chew better. At that I
would of been O.K. only my feet got to hurting and now I can't hardly
walk and all because the shoes they give you are about 6 sizes to small
and they keep lectureing us about feet hygeine but how is a man going to
keep your feet O.K. when they make you wear shoes that Houdini couldn't
get in or out of them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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