“Your Honor, may I have permission to say a few words?” he asked. “Oh--I suppose so,” said his Honor. “Only be short.” The stranger removed his eye-glasses and polished them while he looked over the crowd with a benignant smile. “Pardon me, gentlemen, if I detain you a moment. Let us forget this bum and your monkey business. I have been much pained to overhear the comments of some of your number upon myself. You boys are so frank and fearless and free”--another oily smile--“and are careless, perhaps, of giving another pain.” He lowered his voice confidentially. “Now this pained me more, as you hit very close to fact. I _was_ once an abandoned and ungodly man--but I have been shown the error of my ways, and now it is my firm intention to become a missionary.” He put the glasses in his breast-pocket, slow, thrust the handkerchief under his coat-tails, slow--and produced two cannon too quick for eye-sight--nothing but a flash. “Don’t be rash,” he said in kindly tones. “His Honor will tell you my colleague is standing at the back door. Is it not so, Judge?” “Yes-es!” stammered the judge. There was a silence thick as custard. “I will not insist on the formality of putting up your hands, gentlemen; as the poet hath it: [Illustration: He produced two cannon too quick for eye-sight. Page 154] “‘If the red slayer think he slays Or the slain think he is slain, They little know my subtle ways.’...” “Now, _I_ know _your_ subtle ways, being aware your guns are loaded with blanks. I offer in evidence that no one should try to reload. My colleague will proceed to testify. Doc,” he called across us, “try the clock hanging over my head--hold its little hands as they lay!” “Ker-bang--two shots.” A bullet-hole appeared neatly in the center of the III and another just inside and over the IX. The time was 9:15. “Fair--fair!” said the missionary, gently chiding. “My brother’s left hand can’t do just what his right doeth. Still, I’m satisfied with my pupil.” His voice was rich and unctuous, and one eye rolled upward sanctimoniously--the other kept strictly to business. We listened, fascinated--some one snickered. Our friend cleared his throat and continued: “We realize we could rake a tidy sum out of this bunch if we were grasping. But if we get exacting there’s three possible bad results. First, it would entail considerable hardships on you, and on all those to whom you are indebted. Secondly, it would arouse evil passions in your hearts. “Lastly, and most important to us, you would probably make us try high jumping over the hills and far away.