Short stories, American; United States -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
He surely did laugh, and I with him. We howled, and splashed, and
slapped our legs until we were too weak to stand up, and then we sat
right down in the water. Cunny set up a stentorian “haw-haw” out of
pure good nature, and the sight of him, with his tent around him like
a toga, full of dignity, but willing to oblige, as usual, went near to
finish us.
“Don’t look at me, Cunny, don’t!” begged Billy. “If you look at me
again like that, I’ll die right here!”
“Very good! Very good, indeed! Haw, haw, haw!” replied Cunningham.
In the middle of the hilarity there came a hail from the river bank
in a voice of wonder. It was Antelope Pete, mounted, on his way to
Billy’s to compare notes on the morning’s flood.
Now, Antelope is a very serious-minded man for the country, and it
wouldn’t be well to repeat all the different things he said might
happen him if he ever saw the like of this before.
“Do you fellows always go out in the middle of the river to crack jokes
in thunder-storms?” he demanded. “What in blazes is the matter with
you, anyhow?”
We tried to explain, but we couldn’t get three words out before we were
in roars again, and Pete was perfectly disgusted.
“Well, I’m going to leave,” said he. “I’ve got something else better to
do besides sitting here watching the most all-fired, copper-riveted,
three-ply, double-backed-action damn fools that it was ever my luck to
come acrost.”
We prevailed upon him, however, to throw us his rope, and as
Cunningham was so fearfully and wonderfully entangled in the tent
that it would have been next to impossible to extricate him, we tied
the line to a corner of the tent. Antelope then laid the quirt on his
cayuse, and man and mansion were hauled up the bank together.
When we reached a state of mind where we could discuss the matter
calmly, we asked Cunningham if he still intended to live in the tent.
Oh, yes, yes, indeed! The tent was all right; it was the wind that was
wrong. Then followed a learned disquisition on vacuums, and worlds, and
other meteorological phenomena which stumped us completely. Indeed,
it came to my mind that Cunningham almost proved that he and the tent
never went into the Chantay Seeche.
Part of his theory which I can remember is that the wind, in passing
over the coulée, partially exhausted the air beneath it, like the
action of an atomizer, he explained to our unscientific minds. And thus
Tent Cunningham was drawn up and on to disaster most unlawfully. The
idea of Cunningham and the tent being “atomized” into the creek strikes
me as being particularly good. I feel still more entertained when I
think of the tin cans, the ham, the bacon, the lantern, the little
sheet-iron cooking-stove, various articles of clothing, et cetera,
which were included in the spray.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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