Ghosts -- Fiction; Invalids -- Fiction; Women authors -- Fiction
“No. Gabriel, listen to me. I am overwhelmed because I broke my promise
to you, was not candid. But though I am overwhelmed and unhappy....”
“I will not let you be unhappy....”
She brushed that aside and went on:
“I am not sorry for what I have done. There is not a word of truth in
what she says. As you say, I have admitted guilt, being innocent.
Gabriel, I was innocent before, but racked, tortured to prove it. Here I
have only paid five hundred pounds. Oh, Heaven! give me words, the power
to show you. I am pleading with you for my life. For my life,
Gabriel ... ours. Let the cheque go through, give her another if
necessary, and yet another. I don’t mind buying my happiness.” She
pleaded wildly.
“Hush! Hush!” He hushed her on his breast, held her to him.
“Dear love....” She wept, and the tortures of which she spoke were his.
“If only I might yield to you.”
“What is it stops you? Obstinacy, self-righteousness....”
“If it were either would I not yield now, now, with your dear head upon
my breast?” She was sobbing there. “Dear love, you unman me.” His
breathing was irregular. “Listen, you unman me, you weaken me. We were
both looking forward, and must still be able to look forward. And
backward, too. Not stain our name, more than our name, our own personal
honour. Margaret, we are clean, there must be no one who can say, ‘Had
they been innocent, would they have paid to hide it?’ And this fresh
charge, this fresh and hideous accusation! And you would accept all,
admit all! My dear, my dear, it must not be, we have not only ourselves
to consider.”
“Not only ourselves!” He held her closer, whispered in her ear.
She had heard him discuss commercial morality with her father, had seen
into both their souls; learnt her lover’s creed. One must not best a
fellowman, fool though he might be, nor take advantage of his need nor
ignorance. She had learnt that there were such things as undue
percentage of profit, although no man might know what that profit was.
“Child’s talk,” her father had called it, and told him Wall Street would
collapse in a day if his tenets were to hold good. Margaret had been
proud of him then, although secretly her reason had failed to support
him, for it is hard to upset the teaching of a lifetime. To her, it
seemed there were conventions, but common sense or convenience might
override them. In this particular instance why should she not submit to
blackmail, paying for the freedom she needed? But he could not be
brought to see eye to eye with her in this. She used all the power that
was in her to prove to him that there is no sharp line of demarcation
between right and wrong, that one can steer a middle course.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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