Ghosts -- Fiction; Invalids -- Fiction; Women authors -- Fiction
Three months of neuritis, only kept within bounds by drugs, had made me
comparatively indifferent to my surroundings. It was necessary for me to
move because I had become intolerant of the friends who exclaimed at my
ill looks, and the acquaintances who failed to notice any alteration in
me. One sister whom I really loved, and who really loved me, exasperated
me by constant visits and ill-concealed anxiety. Another irritated me
little less by making light of my ailment and speaking of neuritis in an
easy familiar manner as one might of toothache or a corn. I had no
natural sleep, and if I were not on the borderland of insanity, I was at
least within sight of the home park of inconsequence. Reasoned behaviour
was no longer possible, and I knew it was necessary for me to be alone.
I do not wish to recall this bad time nor the worse that ante-dated my
departure, when I was at the mercy of venal doctors and indifferent
nurses, dependent on grudged bad service and overpaid inattention,
taking a so-called rest cure. But I do wish to relate a most curious
circumstance, or set of circumstances, that made my stay in Pineland
memorable, and left me, after my sojourn there, obsessed with the story
of which I found the beginning on the first night of my arrival, and the
end in the long fevered nights that followed. I myself hardly know how
much is true and how much is fiction in this story; for what the _cache_
of letters is responsible, and for what the morphia.
The house at Pineland was called Carbies, and it was haunted for me from
the first by Margaret Capel and Gabriel Stanton. Quite early in my stay
I must have contemplated writing about them, knowing that there was no
better way of ridding myself of their phantoms, than by trying to make
them substantial in pen and ink. I had their letters and some scraps of
an unfinished diary to help me, a notebook with many blank pages, the
garrulous reticence of the village apothecary, and the evidence of the
sun-washed God’s Acre by the old church.
To begin at the beginning.
It was a long drive from Pineland station to Carbies. I had sent my maid
in advance, but there was no sign of her when my ricketty one-horse fly
pulled up at the garden gate of a suburban villa of a house “standing
high” it is true, and with “creeper climbing about its white-painted
walls.” But otherwise with no more resemblance to the exquisite and
secluded cottage _ornée_ I had in my mind, and that the house-agent had
portrayed in his letters, than a landscape by Matise to one by Ruysdael.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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