“Of course, if that girl were disposed of it would certainly facilitate—”
he mused sagely, then, inconsequential creature, gave me a light tap on
the lower part of my waistcoat. “You old sinner,” he cried jovially,
“much you care for proprieties. But you had better look out for
yourself, you know, with a personage like Jacobus who has no sort of
reputation to lose.”
He had recovered his gravity of a respectable citizen by that time and
added regretfully:
“All the women of our family are perfectly scandalised.”
But by that time I had given up visiting the S— family and the D— family.
The elder ladies pulled such faces when I showed myself, and the
multitude of related young ladies received me with such a variety of
looks: wondering, awed, mocking (except Miss Mary, who spoke to me and
looked at me with hushed, pained compassion as though I had been ill),
that I had no difficulty in giving them all up. I would have given up
the society of the whole town, for the sake of sitting near that girl,
snarling and superb and barely clad in that flimsy, dingy, amber wrapper,
open low at the throat. She looked, with the wild wisps of hair hanging
down her tense face, as though she had just jumped out of bed in the
panic of a fire.
She sat leaning on her elbow, looking at nothing. Why did she stay
listening to my absurd chatter? And not only that; but why did she
powder her face in preparation for my arrival? It seemed to be her idea
of making a toilette, and in her untidy negligence a sign of great effort
towards personal adornment.
But I might have been mistaken. The powdering might have been her daily
practice and her presence in the verandah a sign of an indifference so
complete as to take no account of my existence. Well, it was all one to
me.
I loved to watch her slow changes of pose, to look at her long
immobilities composed in the graceful lines of her body, to observe the
mysterious narrow stare of her splendid black eyes, somewhat long in
shape, half closed, contemplating the void. She was like a spellbound
creature with the forehead of a goddess crowned by the dishevelled
magnificent hair of a gipsy tramp. Even her indifference was seductive.
I felt myself growing attached to her by the bond of an irrealisable
desire, for I kept my head—quite. And I put up with the moral discomfort
of Jacobus’s sleepy watchfulness, tranquil, and yet so expressive; as if
there had been a tacit pact between us two. I put up with the insolence
of the old woman’s: “Aren’t you ever going to leave us in peace, my good
fellow?” with her taunts; with her brazen and sinister scolding. She was
of the true Jacobus stock, and no mistake.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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