'I congratulate you if it is so. It may be, perhaps, that you have had
no opportunity of getting at the real character of women. You may not
have been brought close enough to them for a long enough time.'
'I am perfectly sure,' he said gravely; 'you, for instance, are
incapable of such a paltry sentiment.'
'You are quite right. But I am an exception, a very rare exception.'
'And why are you an exception? What is the cause of your being an
exception?'
'Because,' she said, with deliberation, 'the homage of no man has up
to this interested me; and I always feel quite independent of men; and
if I do flirt it is only because I have not an amusing book, or a
liking to play and sing, or fine castles to build in the air.'
He looked at her with pain mingled with astonishment.
'I don't like you to say such things. There is an ungentleness about
them that does not become you. I wish you would adopt a more sober
style. Believe me, all the world cannot be wrong and you right; and
nearly all the world--all the wisdom of the world, at all events--is
against you.'
'But am I to be a hypocrite, or am I to be what I am?'
'You should try to be what you ought to be.'
'Conventional?'
'Well, I would rather see you conventional than as you are.
Conventionalism is the accumulated tradition of vast experience; and
anyone who throws it over runs a great risk of falling into ways he
has no knowledge of, and through which he can find no guide.'
Osborne was scarcely looking at her as he spoke. She was looking at
him intently, with all the faculties of her nature fixed on him.
'Do you know,' she said, 'you are talking awful rubbish? But you look
your best when you maunder.'
He started, coloured, glanced around him hastily, and taking up the
bill of fare, said,--
'I am the worst of caterers, Miss Gordon. What sweet do you like? Will
you look at the bill and select?'
She turned her grave, sweet eyes upon him, and whispered softly,--
'If you please, Mr Osborne, as this must serve for my dinner, I should
like a small piece of joint. I have had only one tiny piece of sole
and a little soup since breakfast, and it's now nearly four o'clock.'
'Good gracious, I must have been dreaming! Waiter!'
'You look very well asleep.'
Osborne said to the waiter, 'Roast beef.'
'When the waiter has brought the beef are you likely to fall asleep
again?'
'I thought you said I talked nonsense.'
'Yes, you did. But I don't mind what you say. I like to look at you
when you talk that kind of rubbish. It's like seeing a panorama to
music. You look at the panorama, and don't mind the music a bit.'
His eyes dwelt on her with a wistful sadness. She was looking like a
woman whose heart would melt at the first touch of enthusiasm or love,
and she was talking like a machine. How was this? What could it mean?
What could cause the antagonism between the spirit in the eyes and the
spirit in the words?
He shook his head sadly, and was silent awhile. She spoke again,--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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