A new member coming to the mess grasped the situation at his first meal, and felt it a point of unwritten law and honour to continue membership in whichever body chance had happened to place him. He resented those who altered their morning habits and broke through the magic circle, and showed his displeasure by word or look, according to the traditions of the body to which he belonged. Thus it was that Raymond, who was a member of the ‘plebs,’ having risen unusually early, was met with severe and threatening looks as he took his seat at the table. The fluttering in the dove-cotes was barely stilled when, horror, another intruder arrived on the scene of mastication. As if this were not sufficient outrage in itself, the breakers of the peace seemed in good humour with the world and actually dared to talk! With frigid looks the early risers hastily finished their meal and retired with ruffled dignity. One only remained whose curiosity had got the better of his wounded feelings. For a while he listened to what the others were saying in the hopes of obtaining a clue to the mystery without having to resort to the self-abasement of asking questions, but as nothing was spoken of that would help him in that direction he was forced to swallow his pride. Presently he looked up from the book he was pretending to read and grunted with disgust. ‘Up early,’ he began, nodding at Raymond. ‘Yes,’ replied that worthy brightly. ‘Practice attacks.’ The curious one sat up and took professional notice. ‘One of the world’s workers this morning, eh? Who’s giving you a run?’ ‘Jenkins, here. His T.B.’s alongside now, so I asked him to come aboard and have a drop of breakfast with me.’ ‘Now I come to think of it, I heard Jinks’s falsetto when I was in my bath. He made rather a mess of coming alongside, I thought, and I suppose he was mentioning it to any one who cared to listen to him.’ ‘Made a mess of it, be blowed!’ cried the irate Jenkins. ‘You try a combination of tide, and a fool at the wheel at seven in the morning, and then you’ll realise what I’ve had to put up with.’ ‘I have, my lad, I have. My heart went out to you when I heard the bump. There ought to be an addition made to the lists of “summary punishments,” entitling outraged “Lieutenants-in-command” to seize all helm offenders and cast them instantly into chains.’ ‘Blame the Kaiser, he’s the cause of the trouble,’ returned the Torpedo Boat captain sadly. ‘I’m well stocked with “hostility only” people, who never smelt salt water before they sold their farms and came to sea. You wouldn’t believe some of the weird stories I could tell you. Did you ever hear about my gray paint?’ ‘I heard some of the most extraordinary rumours. What actually happened?’