‘Oh, it was chronic. Burton, my Number One, was nearly a raving lunatic over it, and hasn’t been the same man since. It quite broke the poor chap down. He’d been trying to mix the right shade for days, and thought he really had hit on it at last. It was all mixed in a whopping great tub ready for slapping on in the morning, and the whole bally lot disappeared during the night.’ ‘Great Scott! What the devil happened to it?’ ‘Prepare for a shock and I’ll break it to you gently. It had been dumped, jettisoned, thrown over the side, mark you, by an “’ostility only” bloke wot thort it was dirty water, sir, please!’ ‘My poor old Jinks. No wonder he wears a careworn look.’ ‘All very well for you to laugh, Austin, but it’s these little things that are the bane of one’s existence in the destroyer trade. Upsets of this sort and submarines are about on a par with one another.’ ‘We ought to be ready by now,’ said Raymond, rising and going over to the scuttle. ‘Seagrave has been up since dewy dawn getting ready. Yes,’ he continued, looking over his shoulder, ‘he seems to be having a high old time of it by himself, and by the looks of things we’re all ready when you are.’ ‘Right-oh. I shove off at eight-thirty, don’t I?’ ‘I haven’t had a “dummy run” for ages,’ grumbled Austin. ‘The owner thinks I’m so proficient I don’t need any more, I expect.’ ‘Oh, no, my friend,’ laughed Raymond. ‘You’re not his blue-eyed boy by a long chalk. It’s common knowledge that you made such a fiasco of your last one that he doesn’t like to trust you again.’ ‘Maybe, maybe,’ replied Austin amiably. (He was one of the best submarine officers in the depot.) ‘Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings.... What’s the stunt to-day, anyway?’ ‘Just the usual. Jinks goes out at eight-thirty and buzzes about in a ten mile area. I follow when I’ve digested my food, dive when he least expects it, and attack him in his little sardine tin by short sharp rushes. I shall then be crowned with laurel leaves, which, with my accustomed modesty, I shall refuse to wear.’ ‘That’s open to question. Last time Jinks gave me a run I couldn’t get anywhere near him. How many “fish” are you going to fire?’ ‘Probably four, I think. It depends whether it’s worth while. You see, I’ve got that patent bow-cap, and as I have to flood all four tubes together, I might as well get rid of the “fish.”’ ‘That always seems to me to be a rummy arrangement. Personally I can’t see much advantage in it. Do you find it any good?’ ‘It’s handy in one way. If you miss with your first shot, your other tubes are ready for another go.’ ‘My dear good chap, you must not be such a Hun. You’ll have to curb these desires for hate. Why should you want to rain “fish” on unfortunate beggars in that way?’ ‘Time’s up,’ said the Torpedo Boat captain, pushing his chair back. ‘I’ll get off now. What’s the betting I spot you?’ ‘Cocktails when we get back,’ Raymond called after him.