What the deuce did he want with the friendship of a Lady Tal? He had
long made up his mind to permit himself only such friendship as could
not possibly involve any feeling, as could not distress or ruffle him
by such incidents as illness, death, fickleness, ingratitude. The
philosophy of happiness, of that right balance of activities necessary
for the dispassionate student of mankind, consisted in never having
anything that one could miss, in never wanting anything. Had he not long
ago made up his mind to live contemplative only of external types, if
not on a column like Simon Stylites, at least in its meaner modern
equivalent, a top flat at Westminster?
Marion felt depressed, ashamed of his depression, enraged at his shame;
and generally intolerably mortified at feeling anything at all, and
still more, in consequence, at feeling all this much.
As he wandered up and down one of the stretches of the Riva, the
boisterous wind making masts and sails creak, and his cigar-smoke fly
wildly about, he began, however, to take a little comfort. All this,
after all, was so much experience; and experience was necessary for the
comprehension of mankind. It was preferable, as a rule, to use up other
people's experience; to look down, from that top flat at Westminster,
upon grief and worry and rage _in corpore vili_, at a good five storeys
below one. But, on reflection, it was doubtless necessary occasionally
to get impressions a little nearer; the very recognition of feeling in
others presupposed a certain minimum of emotional experience in oneself.
Marion had a sense of humour, a sense of dignity, and a corresponding
aversion to being ridiculous. He disliked extremely having played the
part of the middle-aged fool. But if ever he should require, for a
future novel, a middle-aged fool, why, there he would be, ready to hand.
And really, unless he had thus miserably broken through his rules of
life, thus contemptibly taken an interest in a young lady six-foot
high, the daughter of a bankrupt earl, with an inexpressive face and a
sentimental novel, he would never, never have got to fathom, as he now
fathomed, the character of the intelligent woman of the world, with
aspirations ending in frivolity, and a heart entirely rusted over by
insolence.
Ah, he _did_ understand Lady Tal. He had gone up to his hotel; and shut
his window with a bang, receiving a spout of rain in his face, as he
made that reflection. Really, Lady Tal might be made into something
first-rate.
He threw himself into an arm-chair and opened a volume of the
correspondence of Flaubert.
X.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account