“Oh, I am suffering frightfully.”
“Poor friend!” she brushed my disordered hair back from my fore-head.
“I hope it isn’t through any fault of mine.”
“No—” I replied,—“and yet my love for you has become a sort of madness.
The thought that I might lose you, perhaps actually lose you, torments
me day and night.”
“But you don’t yet possess me,” said Wanda, and again she looked at me
with that vibrant, consuming expression, which had already once before
carried me away. Then she rose, and with her small transparent hands
placed a wreath of blue anemones upon the ringletted white head of
Venus. Half against my will I threw my arm around her body.
“I can no longer live without you, oh wonderful woman,” I said.
“Believe me, believe only this once, that this time it is not a phrase,
not a thing of dreams. I feel deep down in my innermost soul, that my
life belongs inseparably with yours. If you leave me, I shall perish,
go to pieces.”
“That will hardly be necessary, for I love you,” she took hold of my
chin, “you foolish man!”
“But you will be mine only under conditions, while I belong to you
unconditionally—”
“That isn’t wise, Severin,” she replied almost with a start. “Don’t you
know me yet, do you absolutely refuse to know me? I am good when I am
treated seriously and reasonably, but when you abandon yourself too
absolutely to me, I grow arrogant—”
“So be it, be arrogant, be despotic,” I cried in the fulness of
exaltation, “only be mine, mine forever.” I lay at her feet, embracing
her knees.
“Things will end badly, my friend,” she said soberly, without moving.
“It shall never end,” I cried excitedly, almost violently. “Only death
shall part us. If you cannot be mine, all mine and for always, then _I
want to be your slave_, serve you, suffer everything from you, if only
you won’t drive me away.”
“Calm yourself,” she said, bending down and kissing my forehead, “I am
really very fond of you, but your way is not the way to win and hold
me.”
“I want to do everything, absolutely everything, that you want, only
not to lose you,” I cried, “only not that, I cannot bear the thought.”
“Do get up.”
I obeyed.
“You are a strange person,” continued Wanda. “You wish to possess me at
any price?”
“Yes, at any price.”
“But of what value, for instance, would that be?”—She pondered; a
lurking uncanny expression entered her eyes—“If I no longer loved you,
if I belonged to another.”
A shudder ran through me. I looked at her She stood firmly and
confident before me, and her eyes disclosed a cold gleam.
“You see,” she continued, “the very thought frightens you.” A beautiful
smile suddenly illuminated her face.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account