Up in that room with its windows wide open, shut away from her with the
two village women, he was lying dead. He had smiled at her for the last
time, said all he was ever going to say to her, called her the last of
the sweet, half-teasing names he loved to invent for her. Why, only a
few hours ago they were having breakfast together and planning what they
would do that day. Why, only yesterday they drove together after tea
towards the sunset, and he had seen, with his quick eyes that saw
everything, some unusual grasses by the road-side, and had stopped and
gathered them, excited to find such rare ones, and had taken them back
with him to study, and had explained them to her and made her see
profoundly interesting, important things in them, in these grasses
which, till he touched them, had seemed just grasses. That is what he
did with everything,--touched it into life and delight. The grasses lay
in the dining-room now, waiting for him to work on them, spread out
where he had put them on some blotting-paper in the window. She had seen
them as she came through on her way to the garden; and she had seen,
too, that the breakfast was still there, the breakfast they had had
together, still as they had left it, forgotten by the servants in the
surprise of death. He had fallen down as he got up from it. Dead. In an
instant. No time for anything, for a cry, for a look. Gone. Finished.
Wiped out.
What a beautiful day it was; and so hot. He loved heat. They were lucky
in the weather....
Yes, there were sounds after all,--she suddenly noticed them; sounds
from the room upstairs, a busy moving about of discreet footsteps, the
splash of water, crockery being carefully set down. Presently the women
would come and tell her everything was ready, and she could go back to
him again. The women had tried to comfort her when they arrived; and so
had the servants, and so had the doctor. Comfort her! And she felt
nothing.
Lucy stared at the sea, thinking these things, examining the situation
as a curious one but unconnected with herself, looking at it with a kind
of cold comprehension. Her mind was quite clear. Every detail of what
had happened was sharply before her. She knew everything, and she felt
nothing,--like God, she said to herself; yes, exactly like God.
Footsteps came along the road, which was hidden by the garden's fringe
of trees and bushes for fifty yards on either side of the gate, and
presently a man passed between her eyes and the sea. She did not notice
him, for she was noticing nothing but her thoughts, and he passed in
front of her quite close, and was gone.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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