At last, half an hour later, she came. Could he stand by the gateway
and remind her once more of his existence? He hastened up the street
without looking round. He heard the gates of the Chamberlain's house
being thrown open, the carriage driving in and the gates closing again.
Then he turned.
He continued to stroll up and down in front of the house for an hour.
He was not waiting for anybody and had no message to give. Suddenly the
gate was opened from within and Victoria stepped out into the street.
She had no hat on and had only thrown a shawl over her shoulders. She
smiled, half afraid and half embarrassed, and asked as an opening:
"Are you walking about with your thoughts?"
"No," he answered. "My thoughts? No, I'm just walking here."
"I saw you walking up and down outside here and I wanted to.... I saw
you from my window. I must go in again directly."
"Thank you for coming, Victoria. I was in such despair a little while
ago and now it is gone. Excuse me for speaking to you at the theatre;
I'm sorry to say I asked for you here at the Chamberlain's too, I
wanted to see you and find out what you meant, what your meaning was."
"Well," she said, "you must know that. I said so much the day before
yesterday that you couldn't misunderstand me."
"I am still quite uncertain about it all."
"Don't let us talk any more about it. I have said enough, I have said
much too much, and now I am hurting you. I love you, I was not telling
you a lie the other day and I'm not telling you one now; but there is
so much that keeps us apart. I am very fond of you, I like talking
to you, would rather talk to you than to any one else, but.... Well,
I daren't stay here any longer, they can see us from the windows.
Johannes, there are so many reasons that you don't know, so you must
not ask me any more what I mean. I have thought of it night and day; I
mean what I said. But it will be impossible."
"What will be impossible?"
"The whole thing. All of it. Look here, Johannes, you must not force me
to have pride for both of us."
"Very well. All right, I'll spare you that! But it comes to this, that
you made a fool of me the other day. It so happened that you met me in
the street and you were in good humour and so...."
She turned and was going in.
"Have I done anything wrong?" he asked. His face was pale and
unrecognizable. "I mean, how have I forfeited your.... Have I committed
any crime in these two days and two nights?"
"No. That's not it. I have thought it over, that's all; haven't you
done the same? It has been impossible all along, you know. I am fond of
you, appreciate you...."
"And respect you."
She looked at him, his smile offended her and she continued with more
heat:
"Good heavens, don't you see yourself that Papa would forbid it? Why do
you force me to say it? You know it yourself. What could it have led
to? Am I not right?"
Pause.
"Yes," he answered.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account