The comfortable Landhaus with its pink walls, its green shutters, its
sloping roof, the grapevine growing up over the door, the great plane
tree in the garden, became as a lost paradise to be described to
children at the knee,--with hints of recovery when they were old enough
to fight for their own.
Though Anna suspected that Pauli supported his sisters and in her
heart was bitter about it, she had no courage and less opportunity to
reproach him with it.
Pauli loved his sisters very much, especially his sister Mimi, and
he had never told her the tale of Geza's death brought back by his
comrade. How they were to charge a certain hill in Galicia one chilly
autumn dawn in the face of the enemy, waiting millions of them, it
seemed, after the Russian way of lavish cannon-food. How Geza naturally
a laughing man had been leaden-hearted as they went up side by side;
even the schnapps served out to the troops had not put heart into him.
He had said, "I'm going up because I must, but it's quite useless--I'll
never come down again."... Geza loved life ... and when they got up to
the top immediately a great splinter of shell struck him in the chest
and he looked a last reproachful look at his comrade as he fell against
him.... The end of Geza who loved life.
No, Pauli couldn't bear to think of that. Some day he meant to tell
Mimi of those cruel last moments, when Geza knew, knew that his end was
near.
... Perhaps he never would, and then again the day might come when it
wouldn't hurt Mimi so much. The children would never understand. And
it would be as if Geza, heavy with premonition, had never charged that
hill and said those last words,--as if he had never been at all. That
was the way of life, but Pauli didn't like to think of it ... all that
being no more ... as if you had never been; his bright, strong flesh
rejected it.
He was, somewhat vaguely to his wife, in business that brought with
it frequent mention of the Travel Bureau in the Kaerntnerring and
entailed many absences. They had grown accustomed to his travels,
and anyway the thoughts of his wife and daughter ran, with that of
the rest of the population on what they were going to eat and how
they were going to get it, rather than on the coming or going of any
non-edible, even husband and father. So, though they were among the
relatively well-to-do in the starving city, the two women talked almost
entirely of what they had eaten or were going to eat and Hermine was to
experience her greatest enthusiasms when scurrying home with a bit of
fat or a can of jam.
* * * * *
The difficulty of getting to Anna's from the Hoher Markt was occupying
Frau Stacher's thoughts as she lay awake in the early dawn, watching
the day grow stronger, till she could see Haydn leading the young
Mozart by the hand, and the gilt of the flat, white vase on the bracket
underneath began to glisten faintly in the dull light coming in over
the top of the curtains.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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