Since his brother had refused him hospitality; since Violet Forster had
spoken such sweet words to him by the summer-house; since he had been
thrown by his brother officers out of the room which he had regarded
almost as his own--these things, to Sydney Beaton, seemed how many
years ago? It was as though the Sydney Beaton that had been belonged to
one world and the Sydney Beaton that was to another. And indeed that
was the case. He had in truth passed from one world to another; out of
a world in which it was all joy, into another in which it was all
misery. But, instead of being divided by years from one another, it was
only by days. It seemed incredible that so much could have happened to
him in so short a time; but in cases such as his it is the incredible
which happens. Scarcely more than four weeks ago, twenty-eight days,
and already he was brought to this. During the last few days he had
been practically penniless; now he was literally without a farthing, or
the prospect of getting one, and it was November in London, one of
those damp, cold, foggy, uncharitable Novembers which Londoners know
well. Never since the night when he had been thrown out of the room
could he be said to have had all his wits about him, to have been, in
any real sense, himself. It was as though a cloud had settled on his
brain and dulled it; which was, perhaps, an explanation why from that
last moment of his crowning degradation he had behaved like an utter
fool. He had left the barracks with, as his whole fortune, the suit of
clothes which he was wearing, his watch and chain, his studs and links,
and about three pounds in money. All the rest of his cash, which had
been little enough, was in that last pool. His account at the bank was
overdrawn; no one owed him anything; and, placed as he was, there was
not a soul to whom he could turn. His first idea, if he could be said
to have had a really clear one, was to get out of England--it generally
is the first idea of men placed as he was; they are to be met all over
the English-speaking colonies. In his case it was impossible. He had
heard vaguely of a man working his passage, but he had no idea how it
was done. When he found his way down to the docks, and began to have
some glimmering of an idea of the state of things that obtained there,
it was borne in upon him that he had as much chance of working his
passage to any place worth going to as he had of getting to the moon.
For him there was only London, the seamy side of it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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