She said it with a face all laughter. That the statement took him aback
was evident. He started and stared as if he could not make out if she
were in jest or earnest.
"My--what?"
"Your wife."
"I suppose you're joking?"
"Not at all; I've seldom felt less like it. Being a wife is a very
serious thing. Aren't you conscious of your weighty responsibilities as
a husband?"
"I know you're joking." A strange something came on to his face which
might have been a smile, but, if it was, it was a pathetic one. She
smiled back at him. Into her smile there came, upon an instant, a
something which was hardly genial.
"But I'm not joking. You are Sir Jocelyn Kingstone, and I am Lady
Kingstone, your lawful wife."
"Now, I do know that you are pulling my leg, in spite of the something
wrong up here." He touched his forehead with his finger. "I do know
that my name is not Kingstone, and I'm just as sure that I'm not
married--no such luck."
"Can't you regard yourself as married for, say, a few hours, perhaps
even less? Can't you act as if you were?"
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing much. But, you see, I've done you a favour--I don't want to
mention it, but I have--and couldn't you do me one in return?"
"I feel you've done me a favour--I've a sort of consciousness of it in
my bones--but for the life of me I can't straighten things out."
He presented an odd picture as he sat there endeavouring to get his
wits into working order; he seemed to be gradually collapsing under the
strain. Instead of being touched by his obviously piteous plight, it
seemed to add to her amusement.
"Don't let's go into details; don't try, it will only worry you. I have
done you a service, and that's enough. Now I want you to do me one, and
as you're a gentleman, and all that sort of thing, I don't think I
shall need to ask you twice; you'll do it the first time of asking."
"What is it you want me to do? I'll do what I can, but there's precious
little I can do; I'm so--well, you can see for yourself how it is with
me."
"I've told you already what it is I want you to do. I want you to
consent to regard yourself as my husband for--probably only a very few
minutes."
"But I don't understand. I don't see what good you're going to get from
my pretending to be your husband. A very poor sort of a husband I
should make."
"You'll only be my husband _pro forma_--I think that's the proper term.
You see, I'm in a position in which I've got to have a husband, just
for a very few minutes; it doesn't matter what sort, so long as he's
fairly presentable, and you know you're quite nice looking."
If he heard the compliment, it went unnoticed.
"It may be my muddled head, but I still don't see what you're driving
at."
"It's like this--I'll try to make it plain: There's a large sum of
money which is due to me, but I can't get it without my husband's
assistance. He's got to come with me to the banker's, and sign papers,
and things like that."
"Sign papers, and things like that?"
"That's all."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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