Virginibus Puerisque, and Other PapersStevenson, Robert Louis
General
Virginibus Puerisque, and Other Papers
Stevenson, Robert Louis
Essays
A ship captain is a good man to marry if it is a marriage of love, for
absences are a good influence in love and keep it bright and delicate;
but he is just the worst man if the feeling is more pedestrian, as habit
is too frequently torn open and the solder has never time to set. Men
who fish, botanise, work with the turning-lathe, or gather sea-weeds,
will make admirable husbands; and a little amateur painting in
water-colour shows the innocent and quiet mind. Those who have a few
intimates are to be avoided; while those who swim loose, who have their
hat in their hand all along the street, who can number an infinity of
acquaintances and are not chargeable with any one friend, promise an easy
disposition and no rival to the wife’s influence. I will not say they
are the best of men, but they are the stuff out of which adroit and
capable women manufacture the best of husbands. It is to be noticed that
those who have loved once or twice already are so much the better
educated to a woman’s hand; the bright boy of fiction is an odd and most
uncomfortable mixture of shyness and coarseness, and needs a deal of
civilising. Lastly (and this is, perhaps, the golden rule), no woman
should marry a teetotaller, or a man who does not smoke. It is not for
nothing that this “ignoble tabagie,” as Michelet calls it, spreads over
all the world. Michelet rails against it because it renders you happy
apart from thought or work; to provident women this will seem no evil
influence in married life. Whatever keeps a man in the front garden,
whatever checks wandering fancy and all inordinate ambition, whatever
makes for lounging and contentment, makes just so surely for domestic
happiness.
These notes, if they amuse the reader at all, will probably amuse him
more when he differs than when he agrees with them; at least they will do
no harm, for nobody will follow my advice. But the last word is of more
concern. Marriage is a step so grave and decisive that it attracts
light-headed, variable men by its very awfulness. They have been so
tried among the inconstant squalls and currents, so often sailed for
islands in the air or lain becalmed with burning heart, that they will
risk all for solid ground below their feet. Desperate pilots, they run
their sea-sick, weary bark upon the dashing rocks. It seems as if
marriage were the royal road through life, and realised, on the instant,
what we have all dreamed on summer Sundays when the bells ring, or at
night when we cannot sleep for the desire of living. They think it will
sober and change them. Like those who join a brotherhood, they fancy it
needs but an act to be out of the coil and clamour for ever. But this is
a wile of the devil’s. To the end, spring winds will sow disquietude,
passing faces leave a regret behind them, and the whole world keep
calling and calling in their ears. For marriage is like life in
this—that it is a field of battle, and not a bed of roses.
II.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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