Virginibus Puerisque, and Other PapersStevenson, Robert Louis
General
Virginibus Puerisque, and Other Papers
Stevenson, Robert Louis
Essays
And yet there is probably no other act in a man’s life so hot-headed and
foolhardy as this one of marriage. For years, let us suppose, you have
been making the most indifferent business of your career. Your
experience has not, we may dare to say, been more encouraging than Paul’s
or Horace’s; like them, you have seen and desired the good that you were
not able to accomplish; like them, you have done the evil that you
loathed. You have waked at night in a hot or a cold sweat, according to
your habit of body, remembering with dismal surprise, your own
unpardonable acts and sayings. You have been sometimes tempted to
withdraw entirely from this game of life; as a man who makes nothing but
misses withdraws from that less dangerous one of billiards. You have
fallen back upon the thought that you yourself most sharply smarted for
your misdemeanours, or, in the old, plaintive phrase, that you were
nobody’s enemy but your own. And then you have been made aware of what
was beautiful and amiable, wise and kind, in the other part of your
behaviour; and it seemed as if nothing could reconcile the contradiction,
as indeed nothing can. If you are a man, you have shut your mouth hard
and said nothing; and if you are only a man in the making, you have
recognised that yours was quite a special case, and you yourself not
guilty of your own pestiferous career.
Granted, and with all my heart. Let us accept these apologies; let us
agree that you are nobody’s enemy but your own; let us agree that you are
a sort of moral cripple, impotent for good; and let us regard you with
the unmingled pity due to such a fate. But there is one thing to which,
on these terms, we can never agree:—we can never agree to have you marry.
What! you have had one life to manage, and have failed so strangely, and
now can see nothing wiser than to conjoin with it the management of some
one else’s? Because you have been unfaithful in a very little, you
propose yourself to be a ruler over ten cities. You strip yourself by
such a step of all remaining consolations and excuses. You are no longer
content to be your own enemy; you must be your wife’s also. You have
been hitherto in a mere subaltern attitude; dealing cruel blows about you
in life, yet only half responsible, since you came there by no choice or
movement of your own. Now, it appears, you must take things on your own
authority: God made you, but you marry yourself; and for all that your
wife suffers, no one is responsible but you. A man must be very certain
of his knowledge ere he undertake to guide a ticket-of-leave man through
a dangerous pass; you have eternally missed your way in life, with
consequences that you still deplore, and yet you masterfully seize your
wife’s hand, and, blindfold, drag her after you to ruin. And it is your
wife, you observe, whom you select. She, whose happiness you most
desire, you choose to be your victim. You would earnestly warn her from
a tottering bridge or bad investment.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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