Virginibus Puerisque, and Other PapersStevenson, Robert Louis
General
Virginibus Puerisque, and Other Papers
Stevenson, Robert Louis
Essays
If she were to marry some one
else, how you would tremble for her fate! If she were only your sister,
and you thought half as much of her, how doubtfully would you entrust her
future to a man no better than yourself!
Times are changed with him who marries; there are no more by-path
meadows, where you may innocently linger, but the road lies long and
straight and dusty to the grave. Idleness, which is often becoming and
even wise in the bachelor, begins to wear a different aspect when you
have a wife to support. Suppose, after you are married, one of those
little slips were to befall you. What happened last November might
surely happen February next. They may have annoyed you at the time,
because they were not what you had meant; but how will they annoy you in
the future, and how will they shake the fabric of your wife’s confidence
and peace! A thousand things unpleasing went on in the _chiaroscuro_ of
a life that you shrank from too particularly realising; you did not care,
in those days, to make a fetish of your conscience; you would recognise
your failures with a nod, and so, good day. But the time for these
reserves is over. You have wilfully introduced a witness into your life,
the scene of these defeats, and can no longer close the mind’s eye upon
uncomely passages, but must stand up straight and put a name upon your
actions. And your witness is not only the judge, but the victim of your
sins; not only can she condemn you to the sharpest penalties, but she
must herself share feelingly in their endurance. And observe, once more,
with what temerity you have chosen precisely _her_ to be your spy, whose
esteem you value highest, and whom you have already taught to think you
better than you are. You may think you had a conscience, and believed in
God; but what is a conscience to a wife? Wise men of yore erected
statues of their deities, and consciously performed their part in life
before those marble eyes. A god watched them at the board, and stood by
their bedside in the morning when they woke; and all about their ancient
cities, where they bought and sold, or where they piped and wrestled,
there would stand some symbol of the things that are outside of man.
These were lessons, delivered in the quiet dialect of art, which told
their story faithfully, but gently. It is the same lesson, if you
will—but how harrowingly taught!—when the woman you respect shall weep
from your unkindness or blush with shame at your misconduct. Poor girls
in Italy turn their painted Madonnas to the wall: you cannot set aside
your wife. To marry is to domesticate the Recording Angel. Once you are
married, there is nothing left for you, not even suicide, but to be good.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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