Virginibus Puerisque, and Other PapersStevenson, Robert Louis
General
Virginibus Puerisque, and Other Papers
Stevenson, Robert Louis
Essays
The cruellest lies are often told in silence. A man may have sat in a
room for hours and not opened his teeth, and yet come out of that room a
disloyal friend or a vile calumniator. And how many loves have perished
because, from pride, or spite, or diffidence, or that unmanly shame which
withholds a man from daring to betray emotion, a lover, at the critical
point of the relation, has but hung his head and held his tongue? And,
again, a lie may be told by a truth, or a truth conveyed through a lie.
Truth to facts is not always truth to sentiment; and part of the truth,
as often happens in answer to a question, may be the foulest calumny. A
fact may be an exception; but the feeling is the law, and it is that
which you must neither garble nor belie. The whole tenor of a
conversation is a part of the meaning of each separate statement; the
beginning and the end define and travesty the intermediate conversation.
You never speak to God; you address a fellow-man, full of his own
tempers; and to tell truth, rightly understood, is not to state the true
facts, but to convey a true impression; truth in spirit, not truth to
letter, is the true veracity. To reconcile averted friends a Jesuitical
discretion is often needful, not so much to gain a kind hearing as to
communicate sober truth. Women have an ill name in this connection; yet
they live in as true relations; the lie of a good woman is the true index
of her heart.
“It takes,” says Thoreau, in the noblest and most useful passage I
remember to have read in any modern author, {2} “two to speak truth—one
to speak and another to hear.” He must be very little experienced, or
have no great zeal for truth, who does not recognise the fact. A grain
of anger or a grain of suspicion produces strange acoustical effects, and
makes the ear greedy to remark offence. Hence we find those who have
once quarrelled carry themselves distantly, and are ever ready to break
the truce. To speak truth there must be moral equality or else no
respect; and hence between parent and child intercourse is apt to
degenerate into a verbal fencing bout, and misapprehensions to become
ingrained. And there is another side to this, for the parent begins with
an imperfect notion of the child’s character, formed in early years or
during the equinoctial gales of youth; to this he adheres, noting only
the facts which suit with his preconception; and wherever a person
fancies himself unjustly judged, he at once and finally gives up the
effort to speak truth. With our chosen friends, on the other hand, and
still more between lovers (for mutual understanding is love’s essence),
the truth is easily indicated by the one and aptly comprehended by the
other. A hint taken, a look understood, conveys the gist of long and
delicate explanations; and where the life is known even _yea_ and _nay_
become luminous. In the closest of all relations—that of a love well
founded and equally shared—speech is half discarded, like a roundabout,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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