Virginibus Puerisque, and Other Papers — John Shaqi
Virginibus Puerisque, and Other PapersStevenson, Robert Louis
General
Virginibus Puerisque, and Other Papers
Stevenson, Robert Louis
Essays
I am often filled with wonder that so many marriages are passably
successful, and so few come to open failure, the more so as I fail to
understand the principle on which people regulate their choice. I see
women marrying indiscriminately with staring burgesses and ferret-faced,
white-eyed boys, and men dwell in contentment with noisy scullions, or
taking into their lives acidulous vestals. It is a common answer to say
the good people marry because they fall in love; and of course you may
use and misuse a word as much as you please, if you have the world along
with you. But love is at least a somewhat hyperbolical expression for
such luke-warm preference. It is not here, anyway, that Love employs his
golden shafts; he cannot be said, with any fitness of language, to reign
here and revel. Indeed, if this be love at all, it is plain the poets
have been fooling with mankind since the foundation of the world. And
you have only to look these happy couples in the face, to see they have
never been in love, or in hate, or in any other high passion, all their
days. When you see a dish of fruit at dessert, you sometimes set your
affections upon one particular peach or nectarine, watch it with some
anxiety as it comes round the table, and feel quite a sensible
disappointment when it is taken by some one else. I have used the phrase
“high passion.” Well, I should say this was about as high a passion as
generally leads to marriage. One husband hears after marriage that some
poor fellow is dying of his wife’s love. “What a pity!” he exclaims;
“you know I could so easily have got another!” And yet that is a very
happy union. Or again: A young man was telling me the sweet story of his
loves. “I like it well enough as long as her sisters are there,” said
this amorous swain; “but I don’t know what to do when we’re alone.” Once
more: A married lady was debating the subject with another lady. “You
know, dear,” said the first, “after ten years of marriage, if he is
nothing else, your husband is always an old friend.” “I have many old
friends,” returned the other, “but I prefer them to be nothing more.”
“Oh, perhaps I might _prefer_ that also!” There is a common note in
these three illustrations of the modern idyll; and it must be owned the
god goes among us with a limping gait and blear eyes. You wonder whether
it was so always; whether desire was always equally dull and spiritless,
and possession equally cold. I cannot help fancying most people make,
ere they marry, some such table of recommendations as Hannah Godwin wrote
to her brother William anent her friend, Miss Gay. It is so charmingly
comical, and so pat to the occasion, that I must quote a few phrases.
“The young lady is in every sense formed to make one of your disposition
really happy. She has a pleasing voice, with which she accompanies her
musical instrument with judgment. She has an easy politeness in her
manners, neither free nor reserved. She is a good housekeeper and a good
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