OBLIGING BROKER (_to_ AMIABLE SPECTATOR, _who has come in out of curiosity, and without the remotest intention of purchasing sculpture_). No Catlog, Sir? 'Ere, allow me to orfer you mine--that's _my_ name in pencil on the top of it, Sir; and, if you _should_ 'appen to see any lot that takes your fancy, you jest ketch my eye. (_Reassuringly._) I sha'n't be fur off. Or look 'ere, gimme a nudge--I shall know what it means. [_The_ A. S. _thanks him profusely, and edges away with an inward vow to avoid his and the_ AUCTIONEER'S _eyes, as he would those of a basilisk_. AUCTIONEER (_from desk, with the usual perfunctory fervour_). Lot 13, Gentlemen, very charming pair of subjects from child life--"_The Pricked Finger_" and "_The Scratched Toe_"--by Bimbi. A STOLID ASSISTANT (_in shirtsleeves_). Figgers _'ere_, Gen'lm'n! [_Languid surge of crowd towards them._ [Illustration: "FIGGERS _'ere_, GEN'L'M'N!"] A FACETIOUS BIDDER. Which of 'em's the finger and which the toe? AUCT. (_coldly_). I should have thought it was easy to identify by the attitude. Now, Gentlemen, give me a bidding for these very finely-executed works by Bimbi. Make any offer. What will you give me for 'em? Both very sweet things, Gentlemen. Shall we say ten guineas? A GRUBBY MAN. Give yer five. AUCT. (_with grieved resignation_). Very well, start 'em at five. Any advance on five? (_To_ ASSIST.) Turn 'em round, to show the back view. And a 'arf! Six! And a 'arf! Only six and a 'arf bid for this beautiful pair of figures, done direct from nature by Bimbi. Come, Gentlemen, come! Seven! Was that _you_, MR. GRIMES? (THE GRUBBY MAN _admits the soft impeachment_.) Seven and a 'arf. Eight! It's _against_ you. MR. GRIMES (_with a supreme effort_). Two-and-six! [_Mops his brow with a red cotton handkerchief._ AUCT. (_in a tone of gratitude for the smallest mercies_). Eight-ten-six. All done at eight-ten-six? Going ... gone! GRIMES, Eight, ten, six. Take money for 'em. Now we come to a very 'andsome work by Piffalini--"_The Ocarina Player_," one of this great artist's masterpieces, and an exceedingly choice and high-class work, as you will all agree directly you see it. (_To_ ASSIST.) Now, then, Lot 14, there--look sharp! STOLID ASSIST. "Hocarina Plier" eyn't arrived, Sir. AUCT. Oh, hasn't it? Very well, then. Lot 15. "_The Pretty Pill-taker_," by Antonio Bilio--a really magnificent work of Art, Gentlemen. (_"Pill-taker, 'ere.!" from the_ S. A.) What'll you give me for her? Come, make me an offer. (_Bidding proceeds till the "Pill-taker" is knocked down for twenty-three-and-a-half guineas._) Lot 16, "_The Mixture as Before_," by same artist--make a charming and suitable companion to the last lot. What do you say, MR. MIDDLEMAN--take it at the same bidding? (Mr. M. _assents, with the end of one eyebrow_.) Any advance on twenty-three and a 'arf? None? Then,--MIDDLEMAN, Twenty-four, thirteen, six.