MR. MIDDLEMAN (_to the_ AMIABLE SPECTATOR, _who has been vaguely inspecting the "Pill-taker"_). Don't know if you noticed it, Sir, but I got that last couple very cheap--on'y forty-seven guineas the pair, and they are worth eighty, I solemnly declare to you. I could get forty a piece for 'em to-morrow, upon my word and honour, I could. Ah, and I know who'd _give_ it me for 'em, too! THE A. S. (_sympathetically_). Dear me, then you've done very well over it. MR. M. Ah, well ain't the word--and those two aren't the only lots I've got either. That "_Sandwich-Man_" over there is mine--look at the work in those boards, and the nature in his clay pipe; and "_The Boot-Black_," that's mine, too--all worth twice what _I_ got 'em for--and lovely things, too, ain't they? THE A. S. Oh, very nice, very clever--congratulate you, I'm sure. MR. M. I can see you've took a fancy to 'em, Sir, and, when I come across a gentleman that's a connysewer, I'm always sorry to stand in his light; so, see here, you can have any one you like out o' my little lot, or all on 'em, with all the pleasure in the wide world, Sir, and I'll on'y charge you five per cent. on what I gave for 'em, and be exceedingly obliged to you, into the bargain, Sir. (_The_ A. S. _feebly disclaims any desire to take advantage of this magnanimous offer_.) Don't say No, if you mean Yes, Sir. Will you _'ave "The Pill-taker,"_ Sir? THE A. S. (_politely_). Thank you very much, but--er--I think _not_. MR. M. Then perhaps you could do with "_The Little Boot-Black_," or "_The Sandwich-Man_," Sir? THE A. S. Perhaps--but I could do still better _without_ them. [_He moves to another part of the room._ THE OBL. BROKER (_whispering beerily in his ear_). Seen anythink yet as takes your fancy, Sir; 'cos, if so-- [THE A. S. _escapes to a dark corner--where he is warmly welcomed by_ MR. MIDDLEMAN. MR. M. _Knew_ you'd think better on it, Sir. Now which is it to be--the "_Boot-Black_," or "_Mixture as Before_"? AUCT. Now we come to Lot 19. Massive fluted column in coral marble with revolving-top--a column, Gentlemen, which will speak for itself. THE FACETIOUS BIDDER (_after a scrutiny_). Then it may as well mention, while it's _about_ it, that it's got a bit out of its back! AUCT. Flaw in the marble, that's all. (_To_ ASSIST.) Nothing the _matter_ with the column, is there? ASSIST. (_with reluctant candour_). Well, it _'as_ got a little chipped, Sir. AUCT. (_easily_). Oh, very well then, we'll sell it "A. F." Very glad it was found out in time, I'm sure. [_Bidding proceeds._ FIRST DEALER _to_ SECOND (_in a husky whisper_). Talkin' o' Old Masters, I put young 'Anway up to a good thing the other day. SECOND D. (_without surprise--probably from a knowledge of his friend's noble unselfish nature_). Ah--'ow was that?