[Illustration: "PETS! DON'T YOU _love_ THEM? _Aren't_ THEY TAME?"] CONSIDERATE NIECE (_to_ UNCLE). They seem mostly Portraits here. You're sure you don't _mind_ looking at them, Uncle? I know so many people _do_ object to Portraits. UNCLE (_with the air of a Christian Martyr_). No, my dear, no; _I_ don't mind 'em. Stay here as long as you like. I'll sit down and look at the people till you've done. FIRST CRITICAL VISITOR (_examining a View of St. James's Park_). I wonder where that was taken. In Scotland, I expect--there's two Highlanders there, you see. SECOND C. V. Shouldn't wonder--lot o' work in that, all those different colours, and so many dresses. [_Admires, thoughtfully._ A WELL-READ WOMAN. That's Queen Charlotte, that is. George the Third's wife, you know--her that was so _domestic_. HER COMPANION. Wasn't that the one that was shut up in the Tower, or something? THE W. W. In the Tower? Lor, my dear, no, _I_ never 'eard of it. You're thinking of the Tudors, or some o' that lot, I expect! HER COMP. Am I? I dare say. I never _could_ remember 'Istry. Why, if you'll believe me, I always have to stop and think which of the Georges came first! MORE CRITICAL VISITORS (_before Portraits_). He's rather pleasant-looking, don't you think? I _don't_ like _her_ face at all. So peculiar. And what a hideous dress--like a tea-gown without any upper part--frightful! A SCEPTICAL V. They all seem to have had such thin lips in those days. Somehow, I _can't_ bring myself to believe in such very thin lips--can _you_, dear? HER FRIEND. I always think it's a sign of meanness, myself. THE S. V. No; but I mean--I can't believe _every one_ had them in the eighteenth century. HER FRIEND. Oh, I don't know. If it was the fashion! ABOUT THE CASES. VISITOR (_admiring an embroidered waistcoat of the time of_ George the Second--_a highly popular exhibit_). What lovely work! Why, it looks as if it was done yesterday! HER COMPANION (_who is not in the habit of allowing his enthusiasm to run away with him_). Um--yes, it's not bad. But, of course, they wouldn't send a thing like that here without having it washed and done up first! AN OLD LADY. "Teapot used by the Duke of Wellington during his campaigns." So he drank _tea_, did he? Dear me! Do you know, my dear, I think I must have _my_ old tea-pot engraved. It will make it so much more interesting some day! IN THE SOUTH GALLERY. MR. PRATTLER (_before a portrait of Lady Hamilton by Romney_). There! Isn't she too charming? I do call her a perfect _duck!_ MISS AMMERSON. Yes, you mustn't forget her when you bring those biscuits. AN AMURRCAN GIRL. Father, see up there; there's Byron. Did you erver see such a purrfectly beautiful face? HER FATHER (_solemnly_). He was a beautiful _Man_--a beautiful Poet. THE A. G. I know--but the _expression_, it's real saint-like!