FATHER (_slowly_). Well, I guess if he'd had any different kind of
expression, he wouldn't have written the things he _did_ write, and
that's a fact!
A MORALISING OLD LADY (_at Case O_). No. 1260. "Ball of Worsted wound by
William Cowper, the poet, for Mrs. Unwin." No. 1261. "Netting done by
William Cowper, the poet." How very nice, and what a difference in the
habit of literary persons _nowadays_, my dear!
IN THE CENTRAL HALL.
MR. WHITEROSE, _a Jacobite fin de siècle, is seated on a Bench beside a_
SEEDY STRANGER.
THE S. S. (_half to himself_). Har, well, there's one comfort, these
'ere Guelphs'll get notice to quit afore we're _much_ older!
MR. WHITEROSE (_surprised_). You say so? Then you too are of the Young
England Party! I am rejoiced to hear it. You cheer me; it is a sign that
the good Cause is advancing.
THE S. S. Advancin'? I believe yer. Why, I know a dozen and more as are
workin' 'art and soul for it!
MR. W. You do? We are making strides, indeed! Our England has suffered
these usurpers too long.
THE S. S. Yer right. But we'll chuck 'em out afore long, and it'll be
"Over goes the Show" with the lot, eh?
MR. W. I had no idea that the--er--intelligent artisan classes were so
heartily with us. We must talk more of this. Come and see me. Bring your
friends--all you can depend upon. Here is my card.
THE S. S. (_putting the card in the lining of his hat_). Right, Guv'nor;
we'll come. I wish there was more gents like yer, I do!
MR. W. We are united by a common bond. We both detest--do we not?--the
Hanoverian interlopers. We are both pledged never to rest until we have
brought back to the throne of our beloved England, her lawful sovereign
lady--(_uncovering_)--our gracious Mary of Austria-Este, the legitimate
descendant of Charles the Blessed Martyr!
THE S. S. 'Old on, Guv'nor! Me and my friends are with yer so fur as
doing away with these 'ere hidle Guelphs; but blow yer Mary of Orstria,
yer know. Blow _'er_!
MR. W. (_horrified_). Hush--this is rank treason! Remember--she is the
lineal descendant of the House of Stuart!
THE S. S. What of it? There won't be no lineal descendants when we git
_hour_ way, 'cause there won't be nothing to descend to nobody. The
honly suv'rin _we_ mean to 'ave is the People--the Democrisy. But
there, you're young, me and my friends'll soon tork you over to hour way
o' thinking. I dessay we 'aint fur apart, as it is. I got yer address,
and we'll drop in on yer some night--never fear. No hevenin' dress, o'
course?
MR. W. Of course. I--I'll look out for you. But I'm seldom in--hardly
_ever_, in fact.
THE S. S. Don't you fret about _that_. Me and my friends ain't nothing
partickler to do just now. We'll _wait_ for yer. I should like yer to
know ole Bill Gabb. You should 'ear _that_ feller goin' on agin the
Guelphs when he's 'ad a little booze--it 'ud do your 'art good. Well, I
on'y come in 'ere as a deligate like, to report, and I seen enough. So
'ere's good-day to yer.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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