THE SEVERE CRITIC (_almost speechless with gratitude_). Oh--er--it will _do_ me right enough--capital! That is--it _would_, if I hadn't an appointment, and had my riding things on, and wasn't feeling rather out of sorts, and hadn't promised to go home and take my wife in the Park, and it's her birthday, too, and, then, I've long made it a rule never to mount a strange horse, and--er--so you understand how it is don't you? THE J. OF H. Quite, my dear fellow. (_As, for that matter, he has done from the first._) THE COCKNEY GROOM (_alluding to a man who is riding at the gate_). 'Ere's a rough 'un this bloke's on! (_Horse rises at gate; his rider shouts "Hoo, over!" and the gate falls amidst general derision._) Over? Ah, I should just think it _was_ over! THE SATURNINE STABLEMAN (_as horseman passes_). Yer needn't ha' "Hoo'd" for that much! [_The Small Boy, precariously perched on an immense animal, follows; his horse, becoming unmanageable, declines the gate, and leaps the hurdle at the side._ THE S. S. Ah, you're a _artful_ lad, you are--thought you'd take it where it was easiest, eh?--you'll 'ev to goo back and try agen you will. CHORUS OF SYMPATHETIC BYSTANDERS. Take him at it again, boy; _you're_ all right!... Hold him in tighter, my lad.... Let out your reins a bit! Lor, they didn't ought to let a boy like that ride.... He ain't no more 'old on that big 'orse than if he was a fly on him!... Keep his 'ed straighter next time.... Enough to try a boy's nerve! &c., &c. [_The Boy takes the horse back, and eventually clears the gate amidst immense and well-deserved applause._ THE MORBID MAN (_disappointed_). Well, I fully expected to see _'im_ took off on a shutter. THE DESCRIPTIVE MAN. It's the water-jump next--see; that's it in the middle; there's the water, underneath the hedge; they'll have to clear the 'ole of that--or else fall in and get a wetting. They've taken all the horses round to the other entrance--they'll come in from that side directly. [Illustration: "HE EXPECTED THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE TO SEE."] [_One of the Judges holds up his stick as a signal; wild shouts of "Hoy-hoy! Whorr-oosh!" from within, as a Competitor dashes out and clears hedge and ditch by a foot or two. Deafening applause. A second horseman rides at it, and lands--if the word is allowable--neatly in the water. Roars of laughter as he scrambles out._ THE MORBID MAN. Call that a brook! It ain't a couple of inches deep--it's more mud than water! No fear (_he means "no hope"_) of any on 'em getting a ducking over that! [_And so it turns out; the horses take the jump with more or less success, but without a single saddle being vacated. The proceedings terminate for the afternoon amidst demonstrations of hearty satisfaction from all but_ THE MORBID MAN, _who had expected there would have been "more to see."_ At a Dance.