COACHMAN AT DOOR (_to Linkman, as_ MR. B. _goes down the steps_). That's the _lot_, Jim! [Mr. B. _walks home, wishing the Park Gates were not shut, so as to render the Serpentine inaccessible_. AT THE BRITISH MUSEUM. IN THE SCULPTURE GALLERIES. _Sightseers discovered drifting languidly along in a state of depression, only tempered by the occasional exercise of the right of every free-born Briton to criticize whenever he fails to understand. The general tone is that of faintly amused and patronizing superiority._ A BURLY SIGHTSEER _with a red face_ (_inspecting group representing "Mithras Sacrificing a Bull"_). H'm; that may be Mithras's notion of making a clean job of it, but it ain't _mine_! A WOMAN (_examining a fragment from base of sculptured column with a puzzled expression as she reads the inscription_). "Lower portion of female figure--probably a Bacchante." Well, how they know who it's intended for, when there ain't more than a bit of her skirt left, beats _me_! HER COMPANION. Oh, I s'pose they've got to put a name to it o' _some_ sort. AN INTELLIGENT ARTISAN (_out for the day with his_ FIANCÉE--_reading from pedestal_). "Part of a group of As--Astrala--no, _Astraga_--lizontes"--that's what _they_ are, yer see. FIANCÉE. But who _were_ they? THE I. A. Well, I can't tell yer--not for certain; but I expect they'd be the people who in'abited Astragalizontia. FIANCÉE. Was that what they used to call Ostralia before it was discovered? (_They come to the Clytie bust._) Why, if that isn't the same head Mrs. Meggles has under a glass shade in her front window, only smaller--and hers is alabaster, too! But fancy them going and copying it, and I dare say without so much as a "by your leave," or a "thank you!" [Illustration: "H'M; THAT MAY BE MITHRAS'S NOTION OF MAKING A CLEAN JOB OF IT, BUT IT AIN'T _mine_!"] THE I. A. (_reading_). "Portrait of Antonia, sister-in-law of the Emperor Tiberius, in the character of Clytie turning into a sunflower." FIANCÉE. Lor! They did queer things in those days, didn't they? (_Stopping before another bust._) Who's that? THE I. A. 'Ed of Ariadne. FIANCÉE (_slightly surprised_). What!--not young Adney down our street? I didn't know as he'd been took in stone. THE I. A. How do you suppose they'd 'ave young Adney in among this lot--why, that's antique! FIANCÉE. Well, I was _thinking_ it looked more like a female. But if it's meant for old Mr. Teak the shipbuilder's daughter, it flatters her up considerable; and, besides, I always understood as her name was Betsy. THE I. A. No, no; what a girl you are for getting things wrong! that 'ed was cut out years and years ago! FIANCÉE. Well, she's gone off _since_, that's all; but I wonder at old Mr. Teak letting it go out of the family, instead of putting it on his mantelpiece along with the lustres, and the two chiny dogs.