THE A. I. (_with ungallant candour_). 'Ark at you! Why you 'ain't much more sense nor a chiny dog yourself! MORALIZING MATRON (_before the Venus of Ostia_). And to think of the poor ignorant Greeks worshipping a shameless hussey like that! It's a pity they hadn't some one to teach them more respectable notions! Well, well! it ought to make us thankful _we_ don't live in those benighted times, that it ought! A CONNOISSEUR (_after staring at a colossal Greek lion_). A lion, eh? Well, it's another proof to my mind that the ancients hadn't got very far in the statuary line. Now, if you _want_ to see a stone lion done true to Nature, you've only to walk any day along the Euston Road. A PRACTICAL MAN. I dessay it's a fine collection, enough, but it's a pity the things ain't more perfect. _I_ should ha' thought, with so many odds and ends and rubbish lying about as is no use to nobody at present they might ha' used it up in mending some that only requires a 'arm 'ere or a leg there, or a 'ed and what not, to make 'em as good as ever. But ketch _them_ (_he means the Officials_) taking any extra trouble if they can help it! HIS COMPANION. Ah, but yer see it ain't so easy fitting on bits that belonged to something different. You've got to look at it _that_ way. THE P. M. _I_ don't see no difficulty about it. Why, any stonemason could cut down the odd pieces to fit well enough, and they wouldn't have such a neglected appearance as they do now. _A Group has collected round a Gigantic Arm in red granite._ FIRST SIGHTSEER. There's a _arm_ for yer! SECOND S. (_a humourist_). Yes; 'ow would yer like to 'ave _that_ come a punching your 'ed? THIRD S. (_thoughtfully_). I expect they've put it up 'ere as a sarmple like. THE MORALIZING MATRON. How it makes one realize that there were giants in those days! HER FRIEND. But surely the size must be a _little_ exaggerated, don't you think? Oh, is _this_ the God Ptah? [_The_ M. M. _says nothing, but clicks her tongue to express a grieved pity, after which she passes on_. THE INTELLIGENT ARTISAN _and his_ FIANCÉE _have entered the Nineveh Gallery, and are regarding an immense human-headed, winged bull_. THE I. A. (_indulgently_). Rum-looking sort o' beast that 'ere. FIANCÉE. Ye-es--I wonder if it's a likeness of some animal they used to 'ave then? THE I. A. I _did_ think you was wider than _that_!--it's only imaginative. What 'ud be the good o' wings to a bull? FIANCÉE (_on her defence_). You think you know so much--but it's got a man's 'ed, ain't it? and I know there used to be _'orses_ with 'alf a man where the 'ed ought to be, because I've seen their pictures--so there! THE I. A. I dunno what you've got where _your_ 'ed ought to be, torking such rot! IN THE UPPER GALLERIES; ETHNOGRAPHICAL COLLECTION. THE GRIM GOVERNESS (_directing a scared small boy's attention to a particularly hideous mask_). See, Henry, that's the kind of mask worn by savages!