HIS DAUGHTER (_a candid person_). Ah, I ought to ha' known it warn't much good taking _you_ out to enjoy yourself--you're too old, _you_ are! ETHEL'S UNCLE (_cheerily_). Well, Ethel, I think we've seen all there is to be seen, eh? ETHEL. There's _one_ room we haven't been into yet, Uncle, dear. UNCLE. Ha--and what's that? ETHEL (_persuasively_). The _Refreshment_ Room. [_The hint is accepted at last._ THE TRAVELLING MENAGERIE. OUTSIDE. _A crowd is staring stolidly at the gorgeously gilded and painted entrance, with an affectation of superior wisdom to that of the weaker-minded, who sneak apologetically up the steps from time to time. A tall-hatted orchestra have just finished a tune, and hung their brazen instruments up like joints on the hooks above them._ A WOMAN CARRYING AN INFANT (_to her_ HUSBAND). Will 'ee goo in, Joe? JOE (_who is secretly burning to see the show_). Naw. Sin it arl afoor arfen enough. Th' outside's th' best on it, I reckon. HIS WIFE (_disappointed_). Saw 'tis, and naw charge for lookin' at 'en neither. THE PROPRIETOR. Ladies and Gentlemen, Re-mem-bar! This is positively the last opportunity of witnessing Denman's Celebrated Menagerie--the largest in the known world! The Lecturer is now describing the animals, after which Mlle. Cravache and Zambango, the famous African Lion-tamers, will go through their daring feats with forest-bred lions, tigers, bears, and hyenas, for the last time in this town. Remembar--the last performance this evening! JOE (_to his_ WIFE). If ye'd _like_ to hev a look at 'em, I wun't say nay to et. HIS WIFE. I dunno as I care partickler 'bout which way 'tis. JOE (_annoyed_). Bide where 'ee be then. HIS WIFE. Theer's th' child, Joe, to be sure. JOE. Well we bain't a gooin' in, and so th' child wun't come to no 'arm, and theer's a hend on it! HIS WIFE. Nay, she'd lay in my arms as quiet as quiet. I wur on'y thinkin', Joe, as it 'ud be somethin' to tell her when she wur a big gell, as her daddy took her to see th' wild beasties afoor iver she could tark--that's arl I wur meanin', Joe. And they'll let 'er goo in free, too. JOE. Ay, that'll be fine tellin's fur 'er, sure 'nough. Come arn, Missus, we'll tek th' babby in--happen she'll niver git th' chance again. [_They mount the steps eagerly._ INSIDE. JOE'S WIFE (_with a vague sense of being defrauded_). I thart thee'rd ha' bin moor smell, wi' so many on 'em! JOE. They doan't git naw toime for it, I reckon, allus on the rord as they be.