THE LECTURER. Illow me to request yar kind hattention for a moment. (Stand back there, you boys, and don't beyave in such a silly manner!) We har now arrived at the Haswail, or Sloth Bear, described by Buffon as 'aving 'abits which make it a burden to itself. (_Severely._) The Haswail. In the hajoinin' cage observe the Loocorricks, the hony hanimal to oom fear is habsolootly hunknown. When hattacked by the Lion, he places his 'ed between his fore-legs, and in that position awaits the honset of his would-be destroyer. JOE'S WIFE. I thart it wur th' _hostridge_ as hacted that away. JOE. Ostridges ain't gotten they long twisted harns as iver _I_ heard on. HIS WIFE (_stopping before another den_). Oh, my blessed! 'Ere be a queer-lookin' critter, do 'ee look at 'en, Joe. What'll _he_ be now? JOE. How do 'ee suppose as I be gooin' to tell 'ee the name of 'en? He'll likely be a sart of a 'arse. [_Dubiously._ HIS WIFE. They've a let' en git wunnerful ontidy fur sure. 'Ere, Mister (_to_ STRANGER) can you tell us the name of that theer hanimal? STRANGER. That--oh, that's a Gnu. JOE'S WIFE. He says it be a noo. JOE. A noo _what_? HIS WIFE. Why, a noo _hanimal_, I s'pose. JOE. Well, he bain't naw himprovement on th' hold 'uns, as I can see. They'd better ha' left it aloan if they couldn't do naw better nor _'im_. Dunno what things be coming to, hinventin' o' noo hanimals at this time o' day. BEFORE ANOTHER CAGE. A BOOZED AND ARGUMENTATIVE RUSTIC. I sez as that 'un's a fawks, an' I'm ready to prove it on anny man. A COMPANION (_soothingly_). Naw, naw, 'e baint naw fawks. I dunno what 'tis,--but 'tain't naw fawks nawhow. B. AND A. RUSTIC. I tell 'ee _'tis_ a fawks, I'm sure on it. (_To_ MILD VISITOR) _Bain't_ 'e a fawks, Master, eh? MILD VISITOR. Well, really, if you ask me, I should say it was a hyena. THE RUSTIC'S COMP. A hyanna! ah, that's a deal moor like; saw 'tis! THE RUSTIC. A pianner? Do 'ee take me vur a vool? I'll knack th' 'ed arf o' the man as plays 'is priskies wi' me, I wull! Wheer be 'e? Let me get at 'en! [MILD V. _not being prepared to defend his opinion by personal combat, discreetly loses himself in crowd_. ON THE ELEPHANT'S BACK. SECOND BOY. Sit a bit moor forrard, Billy, cann't 'ee! FIRST BOY. _Cann't_, I tell 'ee, I be sittin' on th' scruff of 'is neck as 'tis. THIRD BOY. I can see my vaither, I can. 'Ere, vaither, vaither, look at me--see wheer _I_ be! FOURTH BOY (_a candid friend_). Shoot oop, cann't 'ee', ya young gozzle-'ead! Think ya vaither niver see a hass on a hellyphant afoor! FIFTH BOY. These yere helliphants be main straddly roidin'. I wish 'e wudn't waak honly waun haff of 'en at oncest, loike. What do 'ee mean, a kitchin' old o' me behind i' that way, eh, Jimmy Passons! [Illustration: "I SEZ AS THAT UN'S A FAWKS, AN' I'M READY TO PROVE IT ON ANNY MAN."] SIXTH BOY. _You'd_ ketch 'old 'o hanything if you was like me, a slidin' down th' helliphant's ta-ail.