THE M. IN E. D. (_with a wink to his neighbours_). On the contrary, there are several little things there belonging to me, which I'll thank you to give me back by-and-by. HERR V. K. (_diving into the hat_). So? Vat 'ave we 'ere? A bonch of flowairs! Anozzer bonch of flowairs? Anozzer--_and_ anozzer! Ha, do you alvays garry flowairs insoide your 'at, Sare? THE M. IN E. D. Invariably--to keep my head cool; so hand them over, please; I want them. [_His Companions titter, and declare "it really is too bad of him!"_ HERR V. K. Bresently, Sare,--zere is somtings ailse, it feels loike--yes, it ees--a mahouse-drap. Your haid is drouble vid moice, Sare, yes? Bot zere is none 'ere in ze 'at! THE M. IN E. D. (_with rather feeble indignation_). I never said there were. HERR V. K. No, zere is no mahouse--bot--[_diving again_]--ha! a leedle vide rad! Anozzer vide rad! And again a vide rad--and one, two, dree _more_ vide rads! You vind zey keep your haid noice and cool, Sare? May I drouble you to com and dake zem avay? I don't loike the vide rads myself, it is madder of daste. [_The Audience snigger._] Oh, bot vait--zis is a _most_ gonvenient 'at--[_extracting a large feeding-bottle and a complete set of baby-linen_]--ze shentelman is vairy domestic I see. And zere is more yet, he is goot business man, he knows ow von must hadvertise in zese' ere toimes. 'E 'as 'elp me, so I vill 'elp 'im by distributing some of his cairculars for 'im. [_He showers cards, commending somebody's self-adjusting trousers amongst the Audience, each person receiving about two dozen--chiefly in the eye--until the air is dark, and the floor thick with them._ THE M. IN E. D. (_much annoyed_). Infernal liberty! Confounded impudence! Shouldn't have had _my_ hat if I'd known he was going to play the fool with it like this! FIRST LADY IN PLUSH CLOAK. But I thought you knew what was coming? THE M. IN E. D. So I did--but this fellow does it differently. [HERR VON K. _is preparing to fire a marked half-crown from a blunderbuss into a crystal casket_. A LADY WITH NERVES (_to her husband_). John, I'm _sure_ he's going to let that thing off! JOHN (_a Brute_). Well, I shouldn't be surprised if he is. _I_ can't help it. THE L. WITH N. You could if you liked--you could tell him my nerves won't stand it--the trick will be every _bit_ as good if he only _pretends_ to fire, I'm sure. JOHN. Oh, nonsense!--You can stand it very well if you _like_. THE L. WITH N. I _can't_, John.... There, he's raising it to his shoulder. John, I _must_ go out. I shall scream if I sit here, I _know_ I shall! JOHN. No, no--what's the use? He'll have fired long before you get to the door. Much better stay where you are, and do your screaming sitting down. (_The Conjuror fires._) There, you see, you _didn't_ scream, after all! THE L. WITH N. I screamed to _myself_--which is ever so much worse for me; but you never _will_ understand me till it's too late! [HERR VON K. _performs another trick_.