FIRST MARRIED SISTER (_to Second_). I felt quite sorry for Fred, to see him sitting there, looking--and no wonder--so ashamed of himself--but I always will say, and I always _must_ say, Caroline, that if you and Robert had been _firmer_ with him when he was younger, he would never have turned out so badly! Now, there's my George--&c., &c. MRS. C. (_to the Fiancée_). Well, my dear, I don't approve of young men getting engaged until they have some prospect of being able to marry, and dear Algy was always my favourite brother, and I've seen so much misery from long engagements. However, we must hope for the best, that's all! A MAIDEN AUNT (_to Second Ditto_). Exactly what struck _me_, Martha. _One_ waiter would have been quite sufficient, and if James _must_ be grand and give champagne, he might have given us a little _more_ of it; I'm sure I'd little else but foam in _my_ glass! And every plate as cold as a stone, and you and I the only people who were not considered worthy of silver forks, and the children encouraged to behave as they please, and Joseph Podmore made such a fuss with, because he's well off--and not enough sweetbread to go the round. Ah, well, thank goodness, we needn't dine here for another year! MR. CHIPPERFIELD (_at the door_). Sorry to cut you short in your cigar, Uncle, and you, Limpett; but fact is, being Christmas night, I thought we'd come up a little sooner and all have a bit of a romp.... Well, Emily, my dear, here we are, all of us--ready for anything in the way of a frolic--what's it to be? Forfeits, games, Puss in the Corner, something to cheer us all up, eh? Won't any one make a suggestion? [_General expression of gloomy blankness._ ALGERNON (_to his Fiancée--whom he wants to see shine_). Zeffie, you know no end of games--what's that one you played at home, with potatoes and a salt-spoon, _you_ know? ZEFFIE (_blushing_). No, _please_, Algy! I don't know _any_ games, indeed, I couldn't _really_! MR. C. Uncle Joseph will set us going, I'm sure--what do _you_ say, Uncle? UNCLE JOSEPH. Well, I won't say "no" to a quiet rubber. MRS. C. But, you see, we can't _all_ play in that, and there _is_ a pack of cards in the house somewhere; but I know two of the aces are gone, and I don't think all the court cards were there the last time we played. Still, if you can manage with what is left, we might get up a game for you. UNCLE J. (_grimly_). Thank you, my dear, but, on the whole, I think I would almost rather romp-- MR. C. Uncle Joseph votes for romping! What do you say to Dumb Crambo? Great fun--half of us go out, and come in on all-fours, to rhyme to "cat," or "bat," or something--_you_ can play that, Limpett? MR. LIMPETT. If I _must_ find a rhyme to cat, I prefer, so soon after dinner, not to go on all-fours for it, I confess. MR. C. Well, let's have something quieter, then--only _do_ settle. Musical Chairs, eh? ALGY. Zeffie will play the piano for you--she plays beautifully.