ZEFFIE. Not without notes, Algy, and I forgot to bring my music with me. Shall we play "Consequences"? It's a very quiet game--you play it sitting down, with paper and pencil, you know! MR. LIMPETT (_sardonically, and sotto voce_). Ah, this is something _like_ a rollick now. "Consequences," eh? ALGY (_who has overheard--in a savage undertone_). If that isn't good enough for you, suggest something better--or shut up! [MR. L. _prefers the latter alternative_. MR. C. Now, then, have you given everybody a piece of paper, Emily? Caroline, you're going to play--we can't leave _you_ out of it. AUNT CAROLINE. No, James, I'd rather look on, and see you all enjoying yourselves--I've _no_ animal spirits now! MR. C. Oh, nonsense! Christmas-time, you know. Let's be jolly while we can--give her a pencil, Emily! AUNT C. No, I can't, really. You must excuse me. I know I'm a wet blanket; but, when I think that I mayn't be with you another Christmas, we may _most_ of us be dead by then, why--(_sobs_). FRED (_the Family Failure_). That's right, Mater--trust you to see the humorous side of everything! ANOTHER AUNT. For shame, Fred! If you don't know who is responsible for your poor mother's low spirits, others do! [_The Family Failure collapses_ MR. LIMPETT. Well, as we've all got pencils, is there any reason why the revelry should not commence? MR. C. No--don't let's waste any more time. Miss Zeffie says she will write down on the top of her paper "Who met whom" (must be a Lady and Gentleman in the party, you know), then she folds it down, and passes it on to the next, who writes, "What he said to her"--the next, "What she said to him"--next, "What the consequences were," and the last, "What the world said." Capital game--first-rate. Now, then! [_The whole party pass papers in silence from one to another, and scribble industriously with knitted brows._ MR. C. Time's up, all of you. I'll read the first paper aloud. (_Glances at it, and explodes._) He-he!--this is really very funny. (_Reads._) "Uncle Joseph met Aunt Caroline at the--ho--ho!--the Empire! He said to her, '_What are the wild waves saying!_' and she said to him, 'It's time you were taken away!' The consequences were that they both went and had their hair cut, and the world said they had always suspected there was something between them!" UNCLE J. I consider that a piece of confounded impertinence! [_Puffs._ AUNT C. It's not true. I _never_ met Joseph at the Empire. I don't go to such places. I _didn't_ think I should be insulted like this--(_Weeps_)--on Christmas too! AUNTS' CHORUS. Fred _again_! [_They regard the_ FAMILY FAILURE _indignantly_.