SCENE--_The Serpentine. On the bank, several persons are having their skates put on; practised Skaters being irritable and impatient, and others curiously the reverse, at any delay in the operation_. CHORUS OF UNEMPLOYED SKATE-FASTENERS. 'Oo'll 'ave a pair on for an hour? Good Sport to-day, Sir! Try a pair on, Mum! (_to any particularly stout Lady_). Will yer walk inter _my_ porler, Sir? corpet all the w'y! 'Ad the pleasure o' puttin' on your skites last year, Miss! Best skates in London, Sir! [_Exhibiting a primæval pair._ THE USUAL COMIC COCKNEY (_to his Friend, who has undertaken to instruct him_). No _'urry_, old man--this joker ain't _arf_ finished with me yet! (_To_ SKATE-FASTENER.) Easy with that jimlet, Guv'nor. My 'eel ain't 'orn, like a 'orse's 'oof! If you're goin' to strap me up as toight as all that, I shell 'ave to go to _bed_ in them skites!... Well, what is it _now_? SKATE-FASTENER. Reg'lar thing fur Gen'lm'n as 'ires skates ter leave somethink be'ind, jest as security like--_anythink_'ll do--a gold watch and chain, if yer got sech a thing about yer! THE C. C. Oh, I dessay--not _me_! SKATE-F. (_wounded_). Why, yer needn't be afroid! _I_ shorn't run away--you'll find _me_ 'ere when yer come back! THE C. C. Ah, that _will_ be noice! But all the sime, a watch is a thing that slips out of mind so easy, yer know. You might go and forgit all about it. 'Ere's a match-box instead; it ain't silver! SKATE-F. (_with respect_). Ah, you _do_ know the world, _you_ do! THE C. C. Now, Alf, old man, I'm ready for yer! Give us 'old of yer 'and.... Go slow now. What's the Vestry about not to put some gravel down 'ere? It's downright dangerous! Whoo-up! Blowed if I ain't got some other party's legs on!... Sloide more? Whadjer torking about! I'm sloidin' every way at once, _I_ am!... Stroike out? I've struck sparks enough out of the back o' my 'ed, if that's all!... Git up? Ketch me! I'm a deal syfer settin' dayown, and I'll sty 'ere! [_He stays._ A NERVOUS SKATER (_hobbling cautiously down the bank--to Friend_). I--I don't know how I shall _be_ in these, you know--haven't had a pair on for years. (_Striking out._) Well, come--(_relieved_)--skating's one of those things you never forget--all a question of poise and equi--confound the things! No, I'm all right, thanks--lump in the ice, that's all! As I was saying, skating soon comes back to--thought I was gone that time! Stick by me, old fellow, till I begin to feel my--Oh, hang it _all_!... Eh? surely we have been on more than five minutes! Worst of skating is, your feet get so cold!... These _are_ beastly skates. Did you hear that crack? Well, _you_ may stay on if you like, but I'm not going to risk _my_ life for a few minutes' pleasure! [_He returns to bank._