MR. C. There, there, it was all fun--no harm meant. I'll read the next. "Mr. Limpett met Miss Zeffie in the Burlington Arcade. He said to her, 'O, you little duck!' She said to him, 'Fowls are cheap to-day!' The consequences were that they never smiled again, and the world said, 'What price hot potatoes?'" (_Everybody looks depressed._) H'm--not bad--but I think we'll play something else now. [ZEFFIE _perceives that_ ALGY _is not pleased with her_. TOMMY (_to_ UNCLE JOSEPH). Uncle, why didn't _you_ carve at dinner? UNCLE J. Well, Tommy, because the carving was done at a side table--and uncommon badly done, too. Why do you want to know? TOMMY. Parpar thought you _would_ carve, I know. He told Mummy she must ask you, because-- MRS. C. (_with a prophetic instinct_). Now, Tommy, you mustn't tease your Uncle. Come away, and tell your new Aunt Zeffie what you're going to do with your Christmas boxes. TOMMY. But mayn't I tell him what Parpar said, first? MRS. C. No, no; by and by--not now! [_She averts the danger._ [_Later; the Company are playing "Hide the Thimble"; i.e., someone has planted that article in a place so conspicuous that few would expect to find it there. As each person catches sight of it, he or she sits down._ UNCLE JOSEPH _is still, to the general merriment, wandering about and getting angrier every moment_. MR. C. That's it, Uncle, you're _warm_--you're _getting_ warm! UNCLE J. (_boiling over_). _Warm_, Sir? _I am_ warm--and something more, I can tell you! [_Sits down with a bump._ MR. C. You haven't _seen_ it! I'm sure you haven't seen it. Come now, Uncle! [Illustration: "_Warm_, SIR? I _am_ WARM--AND SOMETHING MORE!"] UNCLE J. Never mind whether I have or have not. Perhaps I don't _want_ to see it, Sir! THE CHILDREN. Then do you give it up? Do you want to be told? Why, it's staring you in the face all the time! UNCLE J. I don't care whether it's staring or not--I don't want to be told anything more about it. THE CHILDREN. Then you're _cheating_, Uncle--you must go on walking till you _do_ see it! UNCLE J. Oh, that's it, eh? Very well, then--I'll walk! [_Walks out, leaving the company paralysed._ MRS. C. Run after him, Tommy, and tell him--quick! [_Exit_ TOMMY. MR. C. (_feebly_). I think when Uncle Joseph does come back, we'd better try to think of some game he _can't_ lose his temper at. Ah, here's Tommy! TOMMY. I _told_ him--but he went all the same, and slammed the door. He said I was to go back and tell you that you would find he _was_ cut up--and cut up rough, too! MRS. C. But what did you tell _him_? TOMMY. Why, only that Parpar asked him to come to-night because he was sure to cut up well. You said I might! [_Sensation; Prompt departure of_ TOMMY _for bed; moralising by Aunts; a spirit of perfect candour prevails; names are called--also cabs; further hostilities postponed till next Christmas_. On the Ice.