BROWN. (_who is without an overcoat or umbrella, has a pair of nankeen trowsers on, and is drenched with rain_) I am not aware that I ever saw a _drownded_ rat, but I should say that the appearance of that animal when in that state must closely resemble mine! It’s a singular fact, but this morning I said to myself as I was dressing myself, “Barbican Brown,” said I, “thirty years’ experience tells you that as sure as you put on nankeens, so sure is it to rain;” nevertheless, nankeens I did put on—I sally out—before I get to the end of the street down comes a shower—nankeens soaked! I go into a pastrycook’s, call for a basin of soup, dry my nankeens at the fire, sally out again, down comes another shower—nankeens soaked again; go into another pastrycook’s, another basin of soup, another shower—nankeens soaked again! Look at me now, I’ve just swallowed my thirteenth basin of soup, dried my nankeens for the thirteenth time—I sally out, down comes the fourteenth shower, and, as you see, nankeens soaked again! _Re-enter O’WALKER hurriedly, his umbrella up—he is closely followed by SCHNIPPS, L._ SCHNIPPS. (_following O’WALKER and trying to look into his face, who continually thwarts him by concealing his face by means of his open umbrella_) I’m sure I know de shentleman. (_in a strong German accent and trying to get a peep at O’WALKER, who again thwarts him with his umbrella_) O’WALKER. (_R., aside_) My tailor—the devil! SCHNIPPS. (L.) You may hide your vace as much as you like, Mr. O’Valker—I can swear to de umprella, ha, ha! O’WALKER. (_putting down umbrella_) Ah, Schnipps, my boy! how are you? And how’s Mrs. Schnipps and the little Schnipps? I hope they’re all salubrious—I don’t know why I should, but I do! SCHNIPPS. They’re very boorly—de tree leetlest is very bad with de weasels. O’WALKER. Oh, they’re bad with the weazles, are they? I’ll tell you how to get rid of the weazles—catch ’em asleep, ah, ah! BROWN. (_who is standing apart, L. C., and listening_) Ha, ha! good, good, very good! (_nodding approvingly at O’WALKER, who bows in return_) SCHNIPPS. De doctor says I must take dem in de country. O’WALKER. The weazles? SCHNIPPS. No—de leetle ones—to give dem a leetle fresh hair. O’WALKER. A little fresh hair, eh? then I’d advise you to go with them. (_pointing to SCHNIPPS’S bald head_) BROWN. (_as before_) Good, good, good again! (_nods approvingly to O’WALKER, who again bows_) SCHNIPPS. And where’s de money to come from? Gustamers won’t pay—it’s no use at all sending in their pills. O’WALKER. Then why don’t you try draughts? BROWN. (_as before_) Good, good, good again! (_same play_) SCHNIPPS. No—I will try de law! I will make dem pay, and yourself among de number—yes, Mr. O’Valker. O’WALKER. Now there’s gratitude! Didn’t you ask me for my custom? SCHNIPPS. Ya! O’WALKER. Did you ask me what my custom was? SCHNIPPS. No.