"Dere is some tings not right in dis schrap, For dose English and French don't fight fair Ven dey pring in de Turco and Jap Und de Hindu and beeg Russian bear; But already us goot Sherman mans Ve vas ending dot var britty quick, Till dey shtart oop some more dirty blans, Ven dose poys vill trow bombs mit a shtick. Ve don't mind some old rifles und guns, Nor dose airships und Dreadnoughts und tings, Ve don't care if dey call us de Huns, [1] Und ve laugh at de song dat dey sings: But dose teufels from Canada come, Dey vould blay us von mean shabby trick, For ve can't get avay from de bomb Dat dey trow from de end of a shtick. Ven ve tink ve are safe for de day, Mit goot sausage and saurkraut filled, Dose Canadians shtart oop to blay Mit a game dat ve nefer haf drilled. Ven ve see dose tings fly troo de air Den already ve feel britty sick; If dey hit us dey don't seem to care, Ven dey trow dose old bombs mit a shtick. Ven ve shoots all our cartridge avay, Und de vagons don't pring any more; Ven our shells get more scarce efry day, Mit our shirts und our breechaloons tore, Und de shmokes und de limburger done (Dot is spreading it on britty tick), Den I tells you it isn't no fun Ven dose poys vill trow bombs mit a shtick." [Footnote 1: Tipperary] FRITZ HAS ANOTHER GROUCH (The Germans say that if it hadn't been for the Canadian Rats they would have got through to Calais.--News Item.) Dere's a ting dat I'll nefer furshtay. Ven ve shtart oop dat goot poison gas, Vy dose Rats don't get oudt of de vay, So us Shermans to Ypres can pass. Ven ve shoots all our cartridge avay, Dat's already deir time to retreat; Vot's de use so ve make de beeg fight, If dose Rats don't know ven dey get beat? Mit de gas dey gets britty soon killed, Den ve send dem de shrapnel some more, Und de bombshell mit limburger filled, Dat vill shmell vorse dan Duffeldorf's shtore; But dose beggars come back mit a rush, Und I twice mit deir bay'nets get pricked; Vot's de use so ve make de beeg push, If dose Rats don't know ven dey get licked? I soon made some goot running, you pet! Ven dey come like vild teufels behind; All my life I vill dream of dem yet, For I tought sure mine bapers vos signed. Dey came on mit a yump und a yell Till right into our trenches dey dashed; Vot's de use so ve trow de beeg shell, If dose Rats don't know ven dey get smashed?