Wee Johnnie Paterson, & other humorous sketchesStevenson, W. Grant (William Grant)
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Wee Johnnie Paterson, & other humorous sketches
Stevenson, W. Grant (William Grant)
English fiction -- Scottish authors; Humorous stories, Scottish
With the improvement in education, the boy of to-day knows all about
everything, and he is eager to make his elders as wise as himself. I
have just had a week's experience with one of these walking
encyclopædias, and my head is a jumble of statistics, chemistry, and
general information, imparted from my nephew, who has been living
with us. The first night he came I thought I would interest him by
developing some photographs taken on a cycling tour. It did not
strike me at the time that being a boy of to-day he knew everything,
and I had at once to change the role of instructor for that of pupil.
I was just about to start explanations of the process, when he said,
"Yes, I know; Franky Scott in our class takes photographs; do you
prepare your own plates?" "No," I said, "I buy them." "Oh! you
could make them cheaper; I'll tell you how it is done. Nitrate of
silver and bromide of potassium throw a white precipitate on the
plate; the nitrate, being sensitive to light, receives a black
impression of anything thrown on it; and if you want to know any more
about it, I'll write to _The Boys Own Paper_." To preserve my
dignity I had to pretend that I knew all about it, but hadn't time to
prepare plates. I am sure, however, that before the week was over he
saw through me, and felt that if he only had me under his care for a
month or two he could make something of me.
Two ladies, who had come from Ayr to see the Exhibition, called on
us, and in the course of conversation one asked when we were going to
visit them at Ayr. But before I could reply the "encyclopedia" said,
"Ayr, on the river of that name, celebrated in connection with
the----"
"Hold your tongue," I broke in; but I heard him mumbling, "Poet
Burns; population 24,000."
When they spoke of going to the Forth Bridge he set off again. "Its
greatest span is 1710 feet, height above water 361 feet, while its
total length is 2766½ yards."
He seemed delighted when it was arranged that he should go to the
Exhibition with the ladies; and so was I, as I was not going. No
doubt he was thinking of the amount of information he could give
them, acting as guide; but he was rather crestfallen when he came
home and told me that he stupidly, at their request, took them to the
Women's Section, and could not get them out. He wanted to explain
dynamos to them.
I remember when I was his age my ambition was to be an engine-driver,
but he says he would like to be a professor of chemistry.
I think teachers nowadays make a mistake in adding logic to their
subjects for study; there is more than enough of it inherent in boys.
One night his mother was telling him how bad he had been, and asked
if he would try to be good. Of course he promised.
"Well, will you begin to-morrow?"
"Oh! that's awfully soon," he said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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