WEHMAN BROS.’ VAUDEVILLE JOKES No. 1. PUBLISHED BY WEHMAN BROS., 126 Park Row, NEW YORK. Copyright, MCMVII, by WEHMAN BROS. WEHMAN BROS.’ BOOK ON HOW TO BECOME AN American Citizen PRICE 15 CENTS. [Illustration] This new and revised edition has been compiled to the present time, and contains valuable information for a foreigner to know before becoming a citizen of the land of his adoption. This practical volume embraces the following, viz:--Declaration of Independence--Articles of Confederation--Constitution of the United States--Time required to procure residence in the United States, and the States of the United States--Declaration of Allegiance--Proof of Residence--Admission of Aliens--Questions asked (and their answers) by the United States, District and State Supreme Courts--Costs of Fees, etc. It is well-printed, on a good quality of paper, and bound in colored cover, and will be sent by mail, postpaid, to any address on receipt of =15 Cents=. --> _Persons in Foreign Countries must remit by POST OFFICE MONEY ORDER._ --> _FOREIGN COIN, STAMPS, OR POSTAL NOTES NOT ACCEPTED._ Address all orders to WEHMAN BROS., 158 Park Row, New York. WEHMAN BROS.’ Vaudeville Jokes No. 1. The coalman’s season may be the winter, and the summer the iceman’s harvest, so that it’s possible the milkman finds his greatest profit in the spring. * * * * * What is the difference between a grocer who uses false weights and a highwayman? The tradesman lies in weight, while the highwayman lies in wait. * * * * * I saw Romeo and Juliet in a restaurant last night. Juliet ordered some soft-shelled crabs and Romeo ordered a cup of tea. Now, the question arises, does Rome-o for what Juli-et? * * * * * You know my girl? Her name is Plaster. I go to court Plaster every night. She is a poor girl, but there are lots of other girls as por-ous Plaster. I took her out riding the other day, when the horse ran away and threw her out and broke her leg in four places, and her arm in three places. I got some sticking plaster and put on her leg and arm, and then carried her home. Next morning she wouldn’t speak to me. Why not? She was too stuck up. * * * * * How old did you say your daughter was? Twenty-two. Gracious, but she’s young for her age. * * * * * George Washington was the bravest man in the world. He was never licked in his life. Oh, yes he was; he was licked on a postage stamp. Then they had to do it behind his back. * * * * * It has been asked when rain falls, does it ever get up again? Of course it does, in dew time. * * * * * I dared to go up on Broadway to-day and a team ran over me. Just as I was getting up, the driver shouted: “Look out!” And what did you say? I said: “Are you coming back?”