* * * * * “What did the doctor do after he pulled your teeth?” “He pulled my leg.” * * * * * “I understand they can’t play Quo Vadis next season.” “Why is that?” “The beef trust has taken the bull away from them.” * * * * * “They say that Eve is the only woman that never looked behind her to see what the other woman had on. But then you know she was only a side issue.” * * * * * I took a prize once on these roller skates. How did you do it? The man wasn’t looking. * * * * * Mr. and Mrs. Nichols and their little boy were introduced recently as “fifteen cents” (three nickels). * * * * * “Did your sister marry a rich husband?” “No. He’s a rich man, but a poor husband.” * * * * * “What’s your occupation?” “I’m janitor of a car.” “Well, I never heard of a car having a janitor. I’ve heard of the janitor of a flat.” “Well, this is a flat car.” * * * * * I cut my dog’s tail off. Did it make any difference with his carriage? No, but it stopped his wagon. * * * * * The drummer looked across the aisle. The seat beside the pretty girl was vacant. Going over, he said: “Is this seat engaged?” “No,” said the girl, “but I am; so it won’t do you any good.” * * * * * “No more parlor matches. They’re against the law,” said Reginald. “Come out on the veranda,” said Gladys, hastily leading the way. * * * * * “I did a good thing to-day.” “Where did you meet him?” * * * * * “How long was your father in the penitentiary?” “Ten years.” “They weren’t in a hurry to let him out, were they?” “No, you have to take your time there.” * * * * * The other day I started on a business trip and told my wife I would not be home that night. I missed the train and arrived home at about eleven o’clock. My wife in answer to my ring called down: “Is that you, Jack?” I remain at home now. P. S.--My name is Bill. * * * * * “My son tells me you have discharged him,” said the office boy’s mother. “It’s very strange; you advertised for a strong boy and that’s what he is----” “He’s too strong, madam,” replied the employer; “in the single day he was here he broke all the rules of this office and some of the furniture.” * * * * * A stout woman said to a little boy: “Can you tell me if I can get through this gate to the park?” He said: “I guess so. A load of hay just went through.” * * * * * When your wife died, did she leave you any real estate? Yes, she left the earth. * * * * * My wife dresses out of sight.