_He_--I never believe anything without investigation. * * * * * “My wife was very sick the other night and I thought she would die. She moaned and groaned and tossed about and kicked all the bed covers off her.” “Well, what then?” “I put the covers back and then she recovered.” * * * * * “I want a dog-collar.” “Yes, sir,” replied the absent-minded man behind the counter. “What size shirt do you wear?” * * * * * “That’s a mighty becoming dress you are wearing.” “Becoming? Why, it hides my figure completely!” “That’s what I said.” * * * * * “I wonder why it is that people cry at weddings?” “I guess it is because they’ve been married themselves and they haven’t got the heart to laugh.” * * * * * “Please, I want to buy a dollar’s worth of hay.” “Is it for your father?” “Oh, no; it’s for the horse; father doesn’t eat hay!” * * * * * “Why didn’t you eat your breakfast this morning?” “’Twasn’t fit for a hog to eat.” THE STUDENT’S Manual of Phonic Shorthand PRICE 30 CENTS. [Illustration: THE LORD’S PRAYER] The contents of this book is a complete introduction to the Stenographic Art, as used for Business Correspondence and Verbatim Reporting. Illustrated by Plates having Printed Keys, which are based wholly upon a system that has been reduced to every-day practice. The Signs are all constructed on simple plans, and can be read easier than the plainest printed copy. Each sign indicates a sound. A boy of 12, by this method, will learn in a week what would take an adult a year by the old way. Illustrated with Numerous Examples. Any one can, in a short time, Report Sermons, Speeches, Trials, etc., with ease and rapidity. Many girls and boys, from this book alone, have become splendid Reporters, and are now receiving from $1,500 to $2,000 a year as Expert Stenographers. You can perfect yourself in a short time, so that you will have a Life Occupation--one that always commands a high salary. It is not a difficult study. It will be of immense value to any young man or woman. This is really the only Simple and Practical Book on Shorthand published, and it will prove a profitable investment. It will be sent by mail, postpaid, to any address, on receipt of =30 Cents=. --> _Persons in Foreign Countries must remit by POST-OFFICE MONEY ORDER._ --> _FOREIGN COIN, STAMPS, OR POSTAL NOTES NOT ACCEPTED._ Address all orders to WEHMAN BROS., 158 Park Row, New York. WEHMAN BROS.’ _COMPLETE_ Letter-Writer Or the New Art of Polite Correspondence. PRICE 30 CENTS. [Illustration]