What Every Woman KnowsBarrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
General
What Every Woman Knows
Barrie, J. M. (James Matthew)
Comedy plays; Man-woman relationships -- Drama
[There is a long pause during which they are lurking in the shadows. At
last they hear some movement, and they steal like ghosts from the room.
We see DAVID turning out the lobby light; then the door closes and an
empty room awaits the intruder with a shudder of expectancy. The window
opens and shuts as softly as if this were a mother peering in to see
whether her baby is asleep. Then the head of a man shows between the
curtains. The remainder of him follows. He is carrying a little carpet
bag. He stands irresolute; what puzzles him evidently is that the Wylies
should have retired to rest without lifting that piece of coal off
the fire. He opens the door and peeps into the lobby, listening to the
wag-at-the-wall clock. All seems serene, and he turns on the light. We
see him clearly now. He is JOHN SHAND, age twenty-one, boots muddy,
as an indignant carpet can testify. He wears a shabby topcoat and a
cockerty bonnet; otherwise he is in the well-worn corduroys of a railway
porter. His movements, at first stealthy, become almost homely as he
feels that he is secure. He opens the bag and takes out a bunch of keys,
a small paper parcel, and a black implement that may be a burglar’s
jemmy. This cool customer examines the fire and piles on more coals.
With the keys he opens the door of the bookcase, selects two large
volumes, and brings them to the table. He takes off his topcoat and
opens his parcel, which we now see contains sheets of foolscap paper.
His next action shows that the ‘jemmy’ is really a ruler. He knows where
the pen and ink are kept. He pulls the fine chair nearer to the table,
sits on it, and proceeds to write, occasionally dotting the carpet with
ink as he stabs the air with his pen. He is so occupied that he does
not see the door opening, and the Wylie family staring at him. They are
armed with sticks.]
ALICK [at last]. When you’re ready, John Shand.
[JOHN hints back, and then he has the grace to rise, dogged and
expressionless.]
JAMES [like a railway porter]. Ticket, please.
DAVID. You can’t think of anything clever for to go for to say now,
John.
MAGGIE. I hope you find that chair comfortable, young man.
JOHN. I have no complaint to make against the chair.
ALICK [who is really distressed]. A native of the town. The disgrace to
your family! I feel pity for the Shands this night.
JOHN [glowering]. I’ll thank you, Mr. Wylie, not to pity my family.
JAMES. Canny, canny.
MAGGIE [that sense of justice again]. I think you should let the young
man explain. It mayn’t be so bad as we thought.
DAVID. Explain away, my billie.
JOHN. Only the uneducated would need an explanation. I’m a student,
[with a little passion] and I’m desperate for want of books. You have
all I want here; no use to you but for display; well, I came here to
study. I come twice weekly. [Amazement of his hosts.]
DAVID [who is the first to recover]. By the window.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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