What Will He Do with It? — Volume 10Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
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What Will He Do with It? — Volume 10
Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
English fiction -- 19th century
"Likely enough; I don't remember. All I know is, that two years ago my
old Clown was my tyrannical manager; and being in that capacity, and this
world being made for Caesar, which is a shame, sir, he said to me, with a
sneer, 'Old Gentleman Waife, whom you used to bully, and his Juliet
Araminta, are in clover!' And the mocking varlet went on to unfold a
tale to the effect, that when he had last visited Humberston, in the
race-week, a young tradesman, who was courting the Columbine, whose young
idea I myself taught to shoot on the light fantastic toe, treated that
Columbine, and one of her sister train (being, indeed, her aunt, who has
since come out at the Surrey in Desdemona) to a picnic in a fine park.
(That's discipline!--ha, ha!) And there, sir, Columbine and her aunt saw
Waife on the other side of a stream by which they sate carousing."
"The Clown perhaps said it to spite you."
"Columbine herself confirmed his tale, and said that on returning to the
Village Inn for the Triumphal Car (or bus) which brought them, she asked
if a Mr. Waife dwelt thereabouts, and was told, 'Yes, with his grand-
daughter.' And she went on asking, till all came out as the Clown
reported. And Columbine had not even the gratitude, the justice, to
expose that villain--not even to say he had been my perfidious servant!
She had the face to tell me 'she thought it might harm him, and he was a
kind old soul.' Sir, a Columbine whose toes I had rapped scores of times
before they could be turned out, was below contempt! but when my own
Clown thus triumphed over me, in parading before my vision the bloated
prosperity of mine enemy, it went to my heart like a knife; and we had
words on it, sir, and--I left him to his fate. But a pedlar! Gentleman
Waife has come to that! The heavens are just, sir, and of our pleasant
vices, sir, make instruments that--that--"
"Scourge us," prompted the Hag, severely.
Losely rang the bell; the maid-servant appeared. "My horse and bill.
Well, Mr. Rugge, I must quit your agreeable society. I am not
overflowing with wealth at this moment, or I would request your
acceptance of--"
"The smallest trifle," interrupted the Hag, with her habitual solemnity
of aspect.
Losely, who, in his small way, had all the liberality of a Catiline,
"/alieni appetens, sui profusus/," drew forth the few silver coins yet
remaining to him; and though he must have calculated that, after paying
his bill, there could scarcely be three shillings left, he chucked two of
them towards the Hag, who, clutching them with a profound curtsey, then
handed them to the fallen monarch by her side, with a loyal tear and a
quick sob that might have touched the most cynical republican.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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